nolan_void

Today I find myself once again gazing into beauty that is without parallel. No matter how long I stay away, no matter how many other women I behold, there is no comparison to the raidiance which this one sheds. I wonder if everyone is so easily drawn in by someone. Is it a failing to hold someone in such high esteem, or a virtue? I suppose it is impossible not to entertain some sort of fantasy when faced with the glorious splendor of a female form, but the longing and desire that can spring forth from this sort of fantasy is often distressing. Also the fact that fantasy and reality are two different things must be acknowledged. There does seem to be some danger in wanting something that does not exist. The only thing that can come of that is conditioning yourself to want a thing that cannot be attained, and thus setting yourself up for continual disappointment. But isn't it only natural for humans to develop this sort of craving, being incomplete on the physical level? Being superstitious as I am, I cannot help but feel that all relationships exist for a reason and have a deeper significance or meaning. Does this not also apply to aesthetically marvelous creatures and those who admire them? Is there a reason beyond instinct and physical fulfillment that one person finds themselves attracted to another? When I quiet myself and clear away all the noisy little monsters that have grown up in my head over all these years, I find that I believe there is. It is an answer that no one can give, an answer that can only be discovered and known as a personal truth. For a long time now, I have been afraid and struggling with the idea that there may be no truth to anything, but now I feel as if I am slowly beginning to realize some part of my understanding that has been on the verge of blossoming for a long time now...the understanding of the nature of truth...