I'm crying my eyes out as I write this. My relationship went from fine to suddenly falling apart over a matter of one day. One moment I'm in New York visiting my girlfriend, and the next I'm home reading an e-mail about how she isn't ready to live together...in five months.
I guess it's understandable. No it's not. Nothing is understandable to me. I don't understand the fucking world. I don't really feel like I understand anyone in it. I just don't get it.
I can't write or think or say anything rational right now. It's all just pain and insanity talking beyond the things I've already said. I just feel sick to my stomach. The distance has made it turn out this way. Why was I ever optimistic in the first place? Why did I believe, against all the experiences that have come before, that this time it would be different? Why did I think that just because I love this girl in a way that I've loved few others, that such feelings would make a difference? And why is it that love never seems to hold up to paltry things like career or travel or wanderlust or...whatever.
I'm too sick to even wonder about this anymore.
I guess it's understandable. No it's not. Nothing is understandable to me. I don't understand the fucking world. I don't really feel like I understand anyone in it. I just don't get it.
I can't write or think or say anything rational right now. It's all just pain and insanity talking beyond the things I've already said. I just feel sick to my stomach. The distance has made it turn out this way. Why was I ever optimistic in the first place? Why did I believe, against all the experiences that have come before, that this time it would be different? Why did I think that just because I love this girl in a way that I've loved few others, that such feelings would make a difference? And why is it that love never seems to hold up to paltry things like career or travel or wanderlust or...whatever.
I'm too sick to even wonder about this anymore.
Sometimes a loss can be reversed. I thought I lost someone who meant so much to me forever, about a month ago. Gradually, we began communicating again, although we are not at the same plateau that we were at the time she ended our relationship originally. As long as the lines of communication are open between us, only time will tell if things will get back to some semblance of what they were before.
Hopefully, a similar scenario will come to pass for you in time. I obviously don't know where the two of you left things. The only thing i can do is express my sincerest hope that things can be worked out between you two. I hope so, if that is what you want. In the meantime, try to be strong.
Best wishes.