Sorry people if this seems too exclusive but this is gonna be completely a Clarey pep talk entry!
ok, kudos on establishing that your current state of dissatisfaction is probably temporary and almost certainly hormonal. i know what you mean about integrating into friendship groups belatedly but bear in mind that's only hard as a group. if you do it on your own it'll be fine, think how excited you are with every new person you meet; well it's not just you, the world sees new people as new opportunties and although you may initially feel like an outsider, that's because you ARE, you don't waltz in and know people, you spend time on them and they in turn appreciate it and accept you. DO IT. ps i love you!
I know what you mean about lack of extra curricular stuff, all i do is my job and see people, and while i love being sociable it rarely succeeds in opening my mind to new ideas and comprehension. so currently i'm combining my need for mental activity with my equal or greater than [there's no symbol for that on my keyboard but isn't it like >/ sort of?] need for escapism [see your 4th point, ha, a neat tying-in!]. for example yesterday i went to visit windsor castle on a whim. although it is a costly experience, i got to expand my knowledge of history which lets face it is pretty minimalist to begin with, and see a beautiful piece of architecture and design. very cultural blah blah but also it's a CASTLE, it's magical and i pretended i was an inhabitant of middle earth wandering the domain, and checking up on the reinforcements to see how long we would be capable of withstanding a siege. it was great fun, and something i've not done for years but in times of mental dehydration it's good to take examples from your 7 year old self! try it, you might like it. pretend to be cultural for the day!
you're doing something worthwhile by going to oxford. you'll have a tres fabby degree that everyone wants, this gives you greater bargaining power and in the near future you will be able to shape our world. ok? maybe it seems like a long process but look at frodo, he has to go through a long and arduous process to save middle earth but he does manage and changes the fate of all people. that could be you!
it doesn't matter if you don't love rob. maybe you will and maybe he just isn't the one. but maybe you're also pinning your neuroses and current feelings of personal inadequacy on him because you want him to enhance all the above *for* you and you're frustrated that he's just doing his own thing. but that said, you're gonna meet a hell of a lot more blokes in the next 3 years. he doesn't HAVE to be the one unless he is the one who can destroy the matrix.
mark is well and beautiful and he makes me happier every time i speak to him or see him. he just called me and he has a really fit voice muhahaha. he is still normal. how clever of me! i hope you are applauding me right now for my amazing skill in locating someone who is normal and makes me want to sing to the sky?
love you loads my sugarplum fairy, take good care now
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ok, kudos on establishing that your current state of dissatisfaction is probably temporary and almost certainly hormonal. i know what you mean about integrating into friendship groups belatedly but bear in mind that's only hard as a group. if you do it on your own it'll be fine, think how excited you are with every new person you meet; well it's not just you, the world sees new people as new opportunties and although you may initially feel like an outsider, that's because you ARE, you don't waltz in and know people, you spend time on them and they in turn appreciate it and accept you. DO IT. ps i love you!
I know what you mean about lack of extra curricular stuff, all i do is my job and see people, and while i love being sociable it rarely succeeds in opening my mind to new ideas and comprehension. so currently i'm combining my need for mental activity with my equal or greater than [there's no symbol for that on my keyboard but isn't it like >/ sort of?] need for escapism [see your 4th point, ha, a neat tying-in!]. for example yesterday i went to visit windsor castle on a whim. although it is a costly experience, i got to expand my knowledge of history which lets face it is pretty minimalist to begin with, and see a beautiful piece of architecture and design. very cultural blah blah but also it's a CASTLE, it's magical and i pretended i was an inhabitant of middle earth wandering the domain, and checking up on the reinforcements to see how long we would be capable of withstanding a siege. it was great fun, and something i've not done for years but in times of mental dehydration it's good to take examples from your 7 year old self! try it, you might like it. pretend to be cultural for the day!
you're doing something worthwhile by going to oxford. you'll have a tres fabby degree that everyone wants, this gives you greater bargaining power and in the near future you will be able to shape our world. ok? maybe it seems like a long process but look at frodo, he has to go through a long and arduous process to save middle earth but he does manage and changes the fate of all people. that could be you!
it doesn't matter if you don't love rob. maybe you will and maybe he just isn't the one. but maybe you're also pinning your neuroses and current feelings of personal inadequacy on him because you want him to enhance all the above *for* you and you're frustrated that he's just doing his own thing. but that said, you're gonna meet a hell of a lot more blokes in the next 3 years. he doesn't HAVE to be the one unless he is the one who can destroy the matrix.
mark is well and beautiful and he makes me happier every time i speak to him or see him. he just called me and he has a really fit voice muhahaha. he is still normal. how clever of me! i hope you are applauding me right now for my amazing skill in locating someone who is normal and makes me want to sing to the sky?
love you loads my sugarplum fairy, take good care now
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I always liked this name.. I'm glad someone finally recognised its origin. :]
xo