nogodsnomanagers

will you be mine, be my destruction

i have no recollection of writing my last entry.....

today is a bad day
waiting
the occasional phone call:
oh it's not over yet
but rest assured everything is going really grimly and you should stay at home i don't want you to see this and our life is going to be normal regardless of what happens here today
ha ha ha

ugh, i don't know if i have the strength or inclination to go to guam's barbecue tonight
it's lightyear tomorrow night
oh, and i'm not leaving time to grieve, deary me
fuck.....it's all so unreal, i've expected it for so long what will i do when it's really over?
she'll tell me not to worry about her and do my thing
but should i feel guilty for neglecting her, or should i feel guilty for not being crippled emotionally and wanting to stay at home crying for 48 hours

so right now i'm concentrating on picking my nose and trying to muster the drive to do important paper work and stuff......bleh

let's not talk about fare-thee-wells now
the night is a starry dome

ngnm