I'm so sleepy.
I miss everyone already. I love a full house, and having people around. Not to say I don't really dig my privacy too, I just love having the energy around that only a really good group of people can create. I think it's part of the reason that although I don't like camping with a ton of people at burning man, that I do still like to camp in a group. Not to many, not too little. It's amazing when you find that happy medium that's juuuuuuuuuust right.
For those of you who don't know already, I threw a surprise party for Yonderboy this weekend. Well, Friday. It turned out pretty well, and I don't think I could have wanted it to be anything more.
Something came to my attention this weekend that's never bothered me before (by bother I mean put a second thought into it) but apparently it's a big deal for others. This is about the age difference between myself and the boy. Now, I've always (obviously) been aware that he's older than me, but I've never found a reason why it actually matters?
Yes, there are some things that we don't really relate on, like TV shows he didn't watch or product jingles I don't remember, but in the grand scheme of things why should that stuff matter? Why does being under 30 make me a "kid". And if being over 30 is where it's at, then why does everyone complain about aging?
Yes, I'm 24. Yes, I love that I am. Yes, I do act my age (how you want to interpret that is your choice). I'm still very childlike, and am proud of it. I'm not completely hardened by the down periods I've had in my life, and know that I never will be. I play on playgrounds, swing on swings, finger paint, watch cartoons, eat raw cookie dough, skip, color, daydream and pout. I also fuck like a champ, love martinis and champagne, can hold an intellectual conversation, have a bank account that I can properly manage, can cook a very attractive meal (ha, you like that one?
), have held a steady job (that wasn't retail), and would be willing to put my life on the line for those that I love. I party really hard, because I absolutely love my life and try to celebrate it every moment I have. People have told me, oh just wait till you hit thirty and it all slows down... first, tell that to my mom who is absolutely stunning, will be 50 this year, and sometimes parties me under the table or at least keeps up. Second, if it's going to "slow down" when I'm 30 why chastise me when I'm trying to enjoy the fact that I'm not yet there.
Yes, there are some things in life that I haven't experienced, but there are a ton of things that I have that many 30, 40, 50 year olds, and even people on their death bed have not. I've started a business, traveled, learned some fairly interesting skills, loved, lost, almost died a couple of times, figured out that my life is dependant on me and no one else, have made friends (best even) with my parents, been married (for 95% unselfish reasons), have lived in 4 major cities and 2 countries/continents, have figured out in the end all of these things that I've done or you've done, no matter how old you are, are just the tip of the iceberg of lessons needed to be learned in life. I'm sorry, but I'm way to busy living my life to take the time out to worry about how long I've or anybody else have been oing it for. Life is way too short to spend it thinking about stupid shit like how much older or younger someone is than someone else. How prejudice.
I hate that I feel like this, that I feel like I have to prove myself. I shouldn't have to, and it shouldn't bother me. It never has... it's just, I want to be apart of the important things in the boys life and want to be apart of them without feeling like I'm being judged. I thought once I hit adulthood I would be treated as such, and that others would act as such. *shrug* I guess that's just another lesson I had to learn. Still, doesn't mean that it doesn't sting a little. Especially because I feel like I've been duped into thinking that someone respected me.
I do feel better now though. One thing I think that we can all relate to and understand is the need to give a big middle finger to these kinds of things. Nothing personal.
Japanese lessons after work today. 3 hours of Japanese lessons. It's been a long day and looks to be an even longer night.
Kisses
I miss everyone already. I love a full house, and having people around. Not to say I don't really dig my privacy too, I just love having the energy around that only a really good group of people can create. I think it's part of the reason that although I don't like camping with a ton of people at burning man, that I do still like to camp in a group. Not to many, not too little. It's amazing when you find that happy medium that's juuuuuuuuuust right.
For those of you who don't know already, I threw a surprise party for Yonderboy this weekend. Well, Friday. It turned out pretty well, and I don't think I could have wanted it to be anything more.
Something came to my attention this weekend that's never bothered me before (by bother I mean put a second thought into it) but apparently it's a big deal for others. This is about the age difference between myself and the boy. Now, I've always (obviously) been aware that he's older than me, but I've never found a reason why it actually matters?
Yes, there are some things that we don't really relate on, like TV shows he didn't watch or product jingles I don't remember, but in the grand scheme of things why should that stuff matter? Why does being under 30 make me a "kid". And if being over 30 is where it's at, then why does everyone complain about aging?
Yes, I'm 24. Yes, I love that I am. Yes, I do act my age (how you want to interpret that is your choice). I'm still very childlike, and am proud of it. I'm not completely hardened by the down periods I've had in my life, and know that I never will be. I play on playgrounds, swing on swings, finger paint, watch cartoons, eat raw cookie dough, skip, color, daydream and pout. I also fuck like a champ, love martinis and champagne, can hold an intellectual conversation, have a bank account that I can properly manage, can cook a very attractive meal (ha, you like that one?
), have held a steady job (that wasn't retail), and would be willing to put my life on the line for those that I love. I party really hard, because I absolutely love my life and try to celebrate it every moment I have. People have told me, oh just wait till you hit thirty and it all slows down... first, tell that to my mom who is absolutely stunning, will be 50 this year, and sometimes parties me under the table or at least keeps up. Second, if it's going to "slow down" when I'm 30 why chastise me when I'm trying to enjoy the fact that I'm not yet there.
Yes, there are some things in life that I haven't experienced, but there are a ton of things that I have that many 30, 40, 50 year olds, and even people on their death bed have not. I've started a business, traveled, learned some fairly interesting skills, loved, lost, almost died a couple of times, figured out that my life is dependant on me and no one else, have made friends (best even) with my parents, been married (for 95% unselfish reasons), have lived in 4 major cities and 2 countries/continents, have figured out in the end all of these things that I've done or you've done, no matter how old you are, are just the tip of the iceberg of lessons needed to be learned in life. I'm sorry, but I'm way to busy living my life to take the time out to worry about how long I've or anybody else have been oing it for. Life is way too short to spend it thinking about stupid shit like how much older or younger someone is than someone else. How prejudice.
I hate that I feel like this, that I feel like I have to prove myself. I shouldn't have to, and it shouldn't bother me. It never has... it's just, I want to be apart of the important things in the boys life and want to be apart of them without feeling like I'm being judged. I thought once I hit adulthood I would be treated as such, and that others would act as such. *shrug* I guess that's just another lesson I had to learn. Still, doesn't mean that it doesn't sting a little. Especially because I feel like I've been duped into thinking that someone respected me.
I do feel better now though. One thing I think that we can all relate to and understand is the need to give a big middle finger to these kinds of things. Nothing personal.
Japanese lessons after work today. 3 hours of Japanese lessons. It's been a long day and looks to be an even longer night.
Kisses
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but hey at least you are learning something