I should be ecstatic. I should be champing at the bit to get the hell out of my job-job-type-job, and go immerse myself fully in the realm of theatre for two months.
Why aren't I? I haven't packed. I'm not calling everyone I know to tell them the good news. Why does it feel like I'm simply going from one job, to another? I used to get such joy out of doing a theatre gig.
Maybe it's because I'm just a little to 'close' to the theatre group I'm going to be working for. The artistic director is a good friend, and a former roommate. So if I call to catch up and shoot the shit, I get to hear the skinny on how the upcoming season is so stressful and how there isn't enough money... etc. etc... You know what? I just want to do the job, have fun, and cash my paycheque without feeling guilty for taking his money. Is that so wrong?
Maybe it's because I'm scared that I haven't done a tour in two years, and I think I've forgotten everything, and that I'll have nothing to offer, and no leadership ability left, and that I won't rise to the challenge of my 'Technical Director' role. No... that's not it.
Maybe it's because I've essentially come to the conclusion that, as much as I'd like it to be, theatre is never going to be my bread and butter. I've made my peace with that. Something changed a couple of years ago, and though I still want to work in the arts, I can't follow some show on the road for ten months of the year, if I want a family.
**insert picture of nocut balancing dreams & priorities on a scale**
Bottom line: I can't wait to get away from my 9-5 for the summer. I just hope I can have some fun with the tour, and keep business and friendship seperate.
Cross yer fingers.
Edit: I would give anything for somebody warm to be beside me in my wee bed tonight...
I'm feeling... like this:
Top five things I miss about ****. One; sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she's got one of the best all time laughs in the history of all time laughs, she laughs with her entire body. Two; she's got character. She's loyal and honest, and she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. That's character.
Three... I miss her smell, and the way she tastes. It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home.
Four, I really dig how she walks around. It's like she doesn't care how she looks or what she projects and it's not that she doesn't care it's just, she's not affected I guess, and that gives her grace.
And five... she does this thing in bed when she can't get to sleep, she kinda half moans and then rubs her feet together an equal number of times... it just kills me.
Yeah, motherfuckers.
Why aren't I? I haven't packed. I'm not calling everyone I know to tell them the good news. Why does it feel like I'm simply going from one job, to another? I used to get such joy out of doing a theatre gig.
Maybe it's because I'm just a little to 'close' to the theatre group I'm going to be working for. The artistic director is a good friend, and a former roommate. So if I call to catch up and shoot the shit, I get to hear the skinny on how the upcoming season is so stressful and how there isn't enough money... etc. etc... You know what? I just want to do the job, have fun, and cash my paycheque without feeling guilty for taking his money. Is that so wrong?
Maybe it's because I'm scared that I haven't done a tour in two years, and I think I've forgotten everything, and that I'll have nothing to offer, and no leadership ability left, and that I won't rise to the challenge of my 'Technical Director' role. No... that's not it.
Maybe it's because I've essentially come to the conclusion that, as much as I'd like it to be, theatre is never going to be my bread and butter. I've made my peace with that. Something changed a couple of years ago, and though I still want to work in the arts, I can't follow some show on the road for ten months of the year, if I want a family.
**insert picture of nocut balancing dreams & priorities on a scale**
Bottom line: I can't wait to get away from my 9-5 for the summer. I just hope I can have some fun with the tour, and keep business and friendship seperate.
Cross yer fingers.
Edit: I would give anything for somebody warm to be beside me in my wee bed tonight...
I'm feeling... like this:
Top five things I miss about ****. One; sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she's got one of the best all time laughs in the history of all time laughs, she laughs with her entire body. Two; she's got character. She's loyal and honest, and she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. That's character.
Three... I miss her smell, and the way she tastes. It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home.
Four, I really dig how she walks around. It's like she doesn't care how she looks or what she projects and it's not that she doesn't care it's just, she's not affected I guess, and that gives her grace.
And five... she does this thing in bed when she can't get to sleep, she kinda half moans and then rubs her feet together an equal number of times... it just kills me.
Yeah, motherfuckers.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
foi:
an orange can be heaven.
hayes:
yes they did play old as well as new, Psalm 69 is one of my favs and it was fucking insane (hence the quote) When Revco was on I just happened to slip to the washroom real quick just as they let any girl who wanted to up on stage, and they all got to hug Al, dissapointment of the century for sure!!! This was my 2nd time seeing them, I didn't see the Lollapalooza show, but my hubby was there and he likes to rub in how amazing that show was to me all the time...