I think my mortality is really starting to catch up with me.

I've always been one of those, "In the grand scheme of things..." kind of thinkers. When one considers the universe and time as a whole, our existence is so fleeting and miniscule that it hardly bears mention.

Given that, I am constantly frustrated that I simply don't have the time to accomplish everything that I want to. Hell, at times I seems I don't have what it takes to reach the achievements I've decided to persue in the time I perceive I have.

I say "perceive" because there's that whole question of when I will die. Could be tomorrow or next week, or it could have been yesterday and it simply hasn't occurred to me yet.

Of late, these kinds of thoughts have been troubling me more than usual. I'm only 25, but when I think of all the goals I'd hoped to realize by now, I become very discouraged.

In any case, if there is a vampire reading this and you're considering embracing a new kindred, I would appreciate the added time that immortality would bring me.

In the meantime, I will continue to grudingly do the best with what I can.

Carpe Noctem