Edit: In order to prevent anyone else from freaking out at me...NO, I am not suicidal...never was, never will be. Things are just a little rough at the moment, but I've weathered the storm before and I'll do it again.
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Have you ever wished you were dead? I don't mean suicide...that's for fucking cowards. I'd never be so chicken shit as to kill myself. I refuse to give up and admit failure like that.
No, I'm talking about feeling too tired to even bother trying anymore; feeling like nothing will ever change and that its not even worth going through the motions. That's the state I'm in right now.
I've had it with the constant struggle. I'm tired of fighting an uphill battle that I always seem to lose. The whole fucking thing has really worn me down. I don't even care anymore.
I have too much pride, so I'll keep fighting until my last breath, but these days I have to admit that there are days where I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again.
Regardless, I will continue to get up every morning, give the day my best go and somehow hope against hope that it won't be like every other day that has gone before.
Try as I might, I don't seem to be able to push myself into complete and total pessimism. I guess there really is a light that never goes out.
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Have you ever wished you were dead? I don't mean suicide...that's for fucking cowards. I'd never be so chicken shit as to kill myself. I refuse to give up and admit failure like that.
No, I'm talking about feeling too tired to even bother trying anymore; feeling like nothing will ever change and that its not even worth going through the motions. That's the state I'm in right now.
I've had it with the constant struggle. I'm tired of fighting an uphill battle that I always seem to lose. The whole fucking thing has really worn me down. I don't even care anymore.
I have too much pride, so I'll keep fighting until my last breath, but these days I have to admit that there are days where I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again.
Regardless, I will continue to get up every morning, give the day my best go and somehow hope against hope that it won't be like every other day that has gone before.
Try as I might, I don't seem to be able to push myself into complete and total pessimism. I guess there really is a light that never goes out.
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---Calvino