It is a little bit of you need with a big fat side of what you want. Not so much a creed as it is a maxim, for my way of life. With a constant bombardment of flesh and sin, I find myself reaching for unimaginable concepts of love without pain, and lust without action... These things rob my being, of nourishment, which I desperately need right now. I sit and think and partake in my onanistic rituals while lamenting the thought of being free... free and challenged, free and busy, free and anything but this... numb, callused, confused, and worst of all bored. This is where the risk of entertaining such demons falls into play. a feeble attempt to break the bindings of this time and place I find myself in. I can cope. I can work with it. However I can't escape these "non-ethical yearnings" I so foolishly have come to hypocritically accept.
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check those groups:
painters
meat market