In my effort to post at least once every month,.. here's my March post. Early than you expected? Yes it is. Well,.. I coming off of a bummer of a night. It's stupid stuff! My problems never escalate above just trivial nonsense, usually. Well,.. let me break it down.
This is all date related. I usually don't like talking about myself,.. in a personal sense. But,.. then Im thinking,.. maybe this can be some sort of therapy for my fragile mind. I've tried everything else,. so might as well.
So,.. anyway. To begin,.. I meet almost everyone online now a days. Due to my lifestyle, I don't get out much. I spend upwards of 50 hours a week at work,.. during the weekdays I pretty much stay at home, and on the weekend if I ever do go out,.. it's with my small circle of friends or I go wander the country side alone. So,.. anyway,.. I'm talking to someone for about a month,.. and then last weekend, I must've put some of my best sweet talking on her, because suddenly,.. she became really into me and flattering me with all these compliments and stuff, and then we were like,.. dude we should kick it. And so we both agreed! It was a unanimous decision. 2 to 0, the vote for kicking it passed. And so we said,.. lets kick it on Sunday.
...and everything was going well,..until,.. 2 days later,.. we started chatting again,.. and I mention,.. 'hey,.. can't wait to see you when we kick it.',.. and then the response was. "I don't have any money", and "I don't have any gas to go anywhere." Now,.. these aren't necessarily rejections. But,. they are bad signs. I've seen this kind of thing before. Oh ho,.. your talking to the king of rejection here. So,.. I say,.. don't worry,.. I got money,.. but y'know,.. whatever...
So,.. two days later,.. I start chatting with her again,. I ask her,.. "How's it goin?",.. and her reply was,.. and I quote "Very shitty thank you, and no I don't want to talk about it. Bye."
So,.. I'm like,.. 'bloody hell is wrong with this crazy lady'. That should have been it,.. I should have said,.. whoa. Nut job,.. but I'm a glutton for punishment,.. so today. I ask if she's okay,.. and would she still like to play,.. already knowing the answer is going to be a no. but,. I ask anyway. Cuz damn,.. emotional abuse makes me feel alive! So,. as predicted. She said she's having lunch with her mom, and yeah,.. that means she can't see me later on that evening either,.. so that's that.
Well,. anyway. This all fits into a bigger problem that I have. When I'm like rejected and what not,.. even if it's something small and insignificant such as the example above,.. I become somewhat detached. I can't have fun. Tonight,.. coincidentally,.. another lady that I was talking to invited me to hang out with her and some of her friends at a bon fire,.. but I can't do it. I just don't want to go there and be a zombie. I lack human emotions right now. I'm not deppressed nor sad. I'm neither,.. I just don't feel anything. It's like a defense mechanism. This happens to me everytime something goes wrong. It sucks so much,.. because if I do go somewhere and I hang out with people,.. my wildest fantasies can be happening all around me,.. I could be in the middle of a damn orgy, .. but it would feel like Sunday morning in church school. Not that I can say that from any actual experience,.. but still.
Well,.. that's my sad story. I'm a nut case myself. Now you all know! I said it,.. it's out there! Feel free to judge and stare.
I'm going to try and organize my thoughts better and post my problems on the "Dating Sucks" group. Stay tuned for more details! Cuz,.. I've been loveless for going on 4 years now,. and every lady I've gone out with has for better or worse either treated me bad or been indifferent to me. So,.. I'm thinking I've got issues. yeah,.. I know,.. don't we all. I wouldn't usually whine about this stuff,.. but I'm just caught up in the moment. I'll feel better in the morning.
This is all date related. I usually don't like talking about myself,.. in a personal sense. But,.. then Im thinking,.. maybe this can be some sort of therapy for my fragile mind. I've tried everything else,. so might as well.
So,.. anyway. To begin,.. I meet almost everyone online now a days. Due to my lifestyle, I don't get out much. I spend upwards of 50 hours a week at work,.. during the weekdays I pretty much stay at home, and on the weekend if I ever do go out,.. it's with my small circle of friends or I go wander the country side alone. So,.. anyway,.. I'm talking to someone for about a month,.. and then last weekend, I must've put some of my best sweet talking on her, because suddenly,.. she became really into me and flattering me with all these compliments and stuff, and then we were like,.. dude we should kick it. And so we both agreed! It was a unanimous decision. 2 to 0, the vote for kicking it passed. And so we said,.. lets kick it on Sunday.
...and everything was going well,..until,.. 2 days later,.. we started chatting again,.. and I mention,.. 'hey,.. can't wait to see you when we kick it.',.. and then the response was. "I don't have any money", and "I don't have any gas to go anywhere." Now,.. these aren't necessarily rejections. But,. they are bad signs. I've seen this kind of thing before. Oh ho,.. your talking to the king of rejection here. So,.. I say,.. don't worry,.. I got money,.. but y'know,.. whatever...
So,.. two days later,.. I start chatting with her again,. I ask her,.. "How's it goin?",.. and her reply was,.. and I quote "Very shitty thank you, and no I don't want to talk about it. Bye."
So,.. I'm like,.. 'bloody hell is wrong with this crazy lady'. That should have been it,.. I should have said,.. whoa. Nut job,.. but I'm a glutton for punishment,.. so today. I ask if she's okay,.. and would she still like to play,.. already knowing the answer is going to be a no. but,. I ask anyway. Cuz damn,.. emotional abuse makes me feel alive! So,. as predicted. She said she's having lunch with her mom, and yeah,.. that means she can't see me later on that evening either,.. so that's that.
Well,. anyway. This all fits into a bigger problem that I have. When I'm like rejected and what not,.. even if it's something small and insignificant such as the example above,.. I become somewhat detached. I can't have fun. Tonight,.. coincidentally,.. another lady that I was talking to invited me to hang out with her and some of her friends at a bon fire,.. but I can't do it. I just don't want to go there and be a zombie. I lack human emotions right now. I'm not deppressed nor sad. I'm neither,.. I just don't feel anything. It's like a defense mechanism. This happens to me everytime something goes wrong. It sucks so much,.. because if I do go somewhere and I hang out with people,.. my wildest fantasies can be happening all around me,.. I could be in the middle of a damn orgy, .. but it would feel like Sunday morning in church school. Not that I can say that from any actual experience,.. but still.
Well,.. that's my sad story. I'm a nut case myself. Now you all know! I said it,.. it's out there! Feel free to judge and stare.
I'm going to try and organize my thoughts better and post my problems on the "Dating Sucks" group. Stay tuned for more details! Cuz,.. I've been loveless for going on 4 years now,. and every lady I've gone out with has for better or worse either treated me bad or been indifferent to me. So,.. I'm thinking I've got issues. yeah,.. I know,.. don't we all. I wouldn't usually whine about this stuff,.. but I'm just caught up in the moment. I'll feel better in the morning.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
You are WAAAY overdue