nitpick00

Question

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains...
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My female co-workers found a feral kitten yesterday. It looks like the kitten is a little over a week old. This is the third kitten the women found in a year. The first was a one or two day old kitten and the poor thing didnt survive a day. The second one was about 4 weeks old, it survived and is thriving under the ownership...
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Life after Death

A couple made a deal that whoever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact.

Mary... Mary....

Is that you Fred?

Yes, I have come back like we...
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The Wisdom Of Will Rogers

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman... neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way...
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Company Policy

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an...
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If anyone read the jokes I posted in my journal I hope you find humor in them.

Subject: CHILI COOK OFF

NOTE:
Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better. For those of you who may have lived in Texas, you know how true this is! They actually have a chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion...
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Ideal Day?

A man walked into a quiet bar. He carried three ducks, one in each hand and one under his left arm. He placed them one beside the other upon the bar. He had a few drinks and chatted with the bartender. The bartender was experienced and had learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he...
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Buffalo Theory

I know all of you have read or heard this wisdom before, but I have not seen anyone explain it as well as the all mighty wise Cliff Clavin, on the sitcom Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. And here's how it went:

"Well ya see Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo...
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Seeing-Eye Dogs

There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my...
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Test

Christian

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and...
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