What is this, the terrible sadness that overwhelms me?
The following suggestions have been provided:
Detox
A perfectly logical (if delayed) reaction to bad news
Nobody knows the whole story. Nobody will ever know the whole story. As long as I keep fragments separated with a loss of consciousness, I will probably manage to prevent even myself from knowing the whole story.
when you seize, do you shake, do you twitch, do you spit?
The first neurologist to ever properly diagnose me asserted repeatedly that I did not have Epilepsy. However, he was also neither astounded nor unimpressed that I had both local and general seizures. Now that my current neurologist, once who, again, finally believes me, is telling me it is likely that these seizures are cardiac in nature, my reality drops out from under me.
describe that episode. were you unwilling or unable to move?
The helplessness is overwhelming. What a contrast I have found, here in the spring I would otherwise be graduating from law school, had this hole in my heart not taken away my life.
Instead, I cannot drive. I cannot take an unsupervised bath. I have a high priority sleep-deprived EEG. And what really gets on my nerves is the vocational counselor asking, inappropriately, if she was the same doctor who diagnosed my schizophrenia.
I shock myself with calm when I reply, "I do not have schizophrenia," but I wonder.
Is this grey matter simply crumbling?
The following suggestions have been provided:
Detox
A perfectly logical (if delayed) reaction to bad news
Nobody knows the whole story. Nobody will ever know the whole story. As long as I keep fragments separated with a loss of consciousness, I will probably manage to prevent even myself from knowing the whole story.
when you seize, do you shake, do you twitch, do you spit?
The first neurologist to ever properly diagnose me asserted repeatedly that I did not have Epilepsy. However, he was also neither astounded nor unimpressed that I had both local and general seizures. Now that my current neurologist, once who, again, finally believes me, is telling me it is likely that these seizures are cardiac in nature, my reality drops out from under me.
describe that episode. were you unwilling or unable to move?
The helplessness is overwhelming. What a contrast I have found, here in the spring I would otherwise be graduating from law school, had this hole in my heart not taken away my life.
Instead, I cannot drive. I cannot take an unsupervised bath. I have a high priority sleep-deprived EEG. And what really gets on my nerves is the vocational counselor asking, inappropriately, if she was the same doctor who diagnosed my schizophrenia.
I shock myself with calm when I reply, "I do not have schizophrenia," but I wonder.
Is this grey matter simply crumbling?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
willendorf:
I am sending love and good vibrations your way, my dear...
syh:
Fast enough to merge in front of the gravel trains.