when we blog, who is it we write for? what do we expect in return?
despite the fact that I have always admired the strong, silent type, I've also been both a prolific writer and verbally voracious. but just who is my audience as I create these near-daily announcements to the world?
I've kept a public blog for years. I was on livejournal for about two years, and before that, I was self-hosted with a more feature-centered, weekly-updated "great controversy."
I liked my controversies.
as I self-narrate my life, I've come to the realization that my blogs are, and always have been, the things that are not heard, no matter how loudly I scream them. unfortunately, I'm afraid I'm no longer saying the things that should be said to the people who need to hear them.
today I was mentally scripting an entry about my brother's drama over the inconveniences he's feeling (and doesn't realize he's causing other people) over his shuffle as his life plans are changing. in respect to my life, it comes down to a car: he and I both had older cars, and when he planned to sell his to move to new york for school, I donated mine and took his. he decided not to go to school in new york and he wanted his car back, and today he spent hours looking for a place to detail the car because I smoked in it. I spent an hour cleaning it for him before giving it back, he made no mention to me of the repairs I put into it during the brief time it was mine, and I doubt he has any concern about the fact that the new used car I got won't be ready for me until tuesday-- effectively leaving me without a vehicle for four days. I even got him a kitsch hula girl air freshener.
every pointed statement I had to make was something I wanted to say to him.
and the only thing I did say-- the only thing I did-- was respond somewhat coldly when he left. how passive agressive and hostile!
so maybe it's just part of my exercise in coping with life being okay. I need to be consistent and sincere and say what needs to be said to the person that I need to say it to. holding on to hostility doesn't help me in any way.
despite the fact that I have always admired the strong, silent type, I've also been both a prolific writer and verbally voracious. but just who is my audience as I create these near-daily announcements to the world?
I've kept a public blog for years. I was on livejournal for about two years, and before that, I was self-hosted with a more feature-centered, weekly-updated "great controversy."
I liked my controversies.
as I self-narrate my life, I've come to the realization that my blogs are, and always have been, the things that are not heard, no matter how loudly I scream them. unfortunately, I'm afraid I'm no longer saying the things that should be said to the people who need to hear them.
today I was mentally scripting an entry about my brother's drama over the inconveniences he's feeling (and doesn't realize he's causing other people) over his shuffle as his life plans are changing. in respect to my life, it comes down to a car: he and I both had older cars, and when he planned to sell his to move to new york for school, I donated mine and took his. he decided not to go to school in new york and he wanted his car back, and today he spent hours looking for a place to detail the car because I smoked in it. I spent an hour cleaning it for him before giving it back, he made no mention to me of the repairs I put into it during the brief time it was mine, and I doubt he has any concern about the fact that the new used car I got won't be ready for me until tuesday-- effectively leaving me without a vehicle for four days. I even got him a kitsch hula girl air freshener.
every pointed statement I had to make was something I wanted to say to him.
and the only thing I did say-- the only thing I did-- was respond somewhat coldly when he left. how passive agressive and hostile!
so maybe it's just part of my exercise in coping with life being okay. I need to be consistent and sincere and say what needs to be said to the person that I need to say it to. holding on to hostility doesn't help me in any way.
(BTW, I also recommend going to the health food store and getting acidopholus capsules to supplement the yogurt. It really does speed up the recuperative process.)
this was intended to come across as being far more meaningful than it actually is. sorry...