nirbhao

I got this is the mail today:


sometimes I believe that the universe is toying with me. then again, today's fortune is one of my absolute favorites. in case you can't read it, the top fortune reads, "You will make change for the better." the bottom fortune reads, "A cheerful letter or message is on its way to" and I happen to think this is the most beautiful and true fortunes I have ever received.

my second favorite fortune read, "The weather outside is beautiful." When I opened it, we were in the middle of a hail storm in Detroit and I was at a state with my health where I couldn't handle stairs anymore and I was considering leaving my apartment because I lived on the second story and I had fallen yet again while taking Palmer out but when I got that fortune it made my laugh and cry because the sky really was beautiful and hail really is amazing and it was such a helpful perspective. I don't know. maybe it's silly.

I kept it in my wallet until I was out at a restuarant and this little girl kept turning around in her seat to play with my hair (I had buzzed my hair and it was soft and fuzzy and I still put barrets in it) and her parents kept yelling at her even though I kept telling them that it was fine and of course it was pouring outside and so I gave it to the little girl.

best run on ever.

yeah, so the universe and I have a very good relationship. I used to refer to "God," or "a god," or "the goddess," but that forces, well, this force (heh) into personhood, and I'm honestly just not that big or powerful. I mean, this may just be my thoughts of gradiosity coming out here from bipolar (I do have quite the history), but the universe dealt me a tarot card on tv once (the hanged man inverted), and the universe operates mostly in subtle little twists and turns, nudges and pokes, each of which I just have to quietly listen to and try to figure out.

I can ignore and avoid but that usually is pretty catastropic. not in a pushnishment way. in an, "I'm a terrible asshat" type way.

I mostly believe the universe is benevolent.

I actually used to get in these fantastic debates with this monist friend of mine, back in the day, when my tremor only really came out when I was nervous.... anyway, I was convinced that it was possible for a god-figure to be simultaneously omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent and had (and have) what I believed (and believe) to be good argument for such. he said simply that the state of our world was a good argument against it.

he got his degree in philosophy, too.

last I heard from him he was selling keyless entry systems. used to go to las vegas on a regular basis and had quite the set of texas hold 'em skills (a few of which he shared.... I can hold my own amongst friends but I don't dare take my tremors to a casino!). he's not with that company anymore. and I believe his aversion to monogamy caught up to him.

we used to be such good friends.

here's how to tell if your psychic is really psychic: a real psychic will be able to tell you something you haven't diclosed but is concerning you. unfortunately, there is no way to tell if a psychic has your best interests in mind unless you are psychic as well. a reading by an ill-meaning psychic can do years of damage. yep.