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nina_kova

Member Since 2006

Followers 43 Following 49

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Thursday Jun 15, 2006

Jun 15, 2006
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hmmm, life gets so interesting....anyway - today is my day off - getting ready to go to my class for a bit. i get an email from my old boss. His office is across the hall from my new office - so it's not like it's a "Hi stranger" type thing. He has been supporting my changing majors - will hook me up with great research opps., etc. if I am in the social work program...He has really sweetened the offer so to speak - if I finish up (about 2.5 years left for my baccalaureate) I will get a full fellowship for my Master's degree...

So now I am thinking the people around me see something in me perhaps I don't see. I have to admit to thinking I would not have the patience to be a counselor who deals with people in a long-term "therapeutic" relationship. But, I can see myself working in short-term crisis intervention and stabilization efforts. My long-term goal is my doctorate so I can be more involved in research and teaching. I think at times - the hardest part of being in school at my age - is that I lose sight of my goal. I want enough "credentials" to sit at the grown-up table - and I want to have enough so that I don't have to settle. The goal isn't "get trained for a job"...Working within the system I work, I have to come realize that education truly is the one thing that will be mine. No matter what I decide to so - the education follows me and it opens doors that have been previously closed. It's one thing to have people think I'm smart (not that I care - I know I am - ooo - I'm feisty this morning) but it's another to make them hear me because I have the same ticket. Seeing how I'm getting my ticket - I have so much more than they do and will. I have worked in a system where I have done incredibly well - and it's one that rquires "papers" to get ahead. Everyone I have worked with and for hass been able to facilitate my advancing without the degree - but now...There comes a point where I am sick of having to bust my ass twice as hard with twice the knowledge and practical experince than other people within the system. There is no glass ceiling for a woman in higher education without a Ph.D., it is fucking cast-iron. Going back to school is the only way I can make things change. So, that's what I'm doing. Perhaps I am once again being stubborn because I'm natutally rebellious. If someone tells me what to do - my first inclincation is to tell them to piss off. But, maybe I'm getting softer in my old age as I am not longer hearing the people I respect tell me "you must" but that's because I respect them in the first place and I know what they are telling me is out of respect and love for me....Hmmmm...

That's it!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
punknitemike:
your comment totally made my day! so you're dating me sorta, huh? thats funny! you make me laugh & i so love to laugh! yeah, i am pretty happy when i talk about her! and i talk about her alot! she makes me feel all special & confident, i love that! i cant wait to see her next weekend though!

of course guys dig smart chicks, at least i do! so do you wear glasses? if so, this i have to see..and i wanna see the black hair too! i actually prefer girls who have rips in their dresses! wink
Jun 16, 2006
nokturn:
Maybe you could get a fake qualification (just to tide you over...)
A lot of the teachers at my dad's school in Bangkok are totally unqualified, but are great at their job, so he gets them to buy fake degrees (fake certificates of all kinds are very popular there and quite convincing) and with those he was able to keep them on when the government cracked down.
Probably wouldn't work in Boston tho.
Yeah work is the goal I suppose- enjoying it and making enough to get by, now that would be a heaven sent!
Yeah, she didn't contact me- I know that's what she's like tho: constant cold feet, although I'm only asking her to come out for a friendly drink. Its annoying, but fact is she just isn't ready to deal.
How are things with PBB?
Any follow up dates yet?
skull
Jun 16, 2006

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