We had actual sunlight today!!! 
I cant believe how something that I take for granted has improved my entire mental outlook at least for the moment. I am still a non-smoker (yay me!) Of course, I am questioning why I even did this but now Ive gone long enough that I would be so disappointed in myself if I started again that I really cant smoke.(sucks!) 
I am actually at work at the moment and incredibly bored! We had this stupid conference which they made me go to so that I would play nice with the grown-upsI cant wait to be done with school so I can get a different job where there is much less formality. It is always so uncomfortable for me to talk to people I cant stand or dont know so I actually took over one of the conference rooms (with the cool kids) and we played games against each otherProbably not an effective use of resources but fuck em kept me happy and as I told my old boss hiding me in the backroom meant I couldnt embarrass anyone with my workplace tourettes.He was amused but no one else was.
I have also heard from my Canadian boy who truly is sweet, funny, intelligent adorable as hell.such a struggle to stay away from him
.The whole distance thing sucks in a relationship so I still dont love my Canadian. Its kind of easy since we are in different countries but then theres the whole issue of emailing and chatting.so of course, I still email and chat with him which makes no sense to meI cant do the LDR thing but at the same time I am completely infatuated (smitten even) with him and we still send rather silly useless emails and things to one another. I even went so far as to make him a pirate card to congratulate him, (I am so completely dangerous with photoshopI have a really strange obsession with pirates 
and those silly little faces in my journal).But, I suppose thats digressingSo this is todays rambling email.
I think I shall give up Canadian boys for the summer.
and - after all that shit about the smoking... i had a moment of weakness and serendipity.....
one of the women at work came in to see the "new digs" and we were talking about my window....i made a comment about how everyone smokes in front of it and i am a new non-smoker....turns out she's a facilitator for the american lung association's smoking cessation groups....very weird that she came in at the moment i was debating a cigarette (as it is nice out and there are many smokers outside) so i think that was a good thing as i know have someone here to talk me down from the occasional ledges I find myself on.
I cant believe how something that I take for granted has improved my entire mental outlook at least for the moment. I am still a non-smoker (yay me!) Of course, I am questioning why I even did this but now Ive gone long enough that I would be so disappointed in myself if I started again that I really cant smoke.(sucks!)
I am actually at work at the moment and incredibly bored! We had this stupid conference which they made me go to so that I would play nice with the grown-upsI cant wait to be done with school so I can get a different job where there is much less formality. It is always so uncomfortable for me to talk to people I cant stand or dont know so I actually took over one of the conference rooms (with the cool kids) and we played games against each otherProbably not an effective use of resources but fuck em kept me happy and as I told my old boss hiding me in the backroom meant I couldnt embarrass anyone with my workplace tourettes.He was amused but no one else was.
I have also heard from my Canadian boy who truly is sweet, funny, intelligent adorable as hell.such a struggle to stay away from him
.The whole distance thing sucks in a relationship so I still dont love my Canadian. Its kind of easy since we are in different countries but then theres the whole issue of emailing and chatting.so of course, I still email and chat with him which makes no sense to meI cant do the LDR thing but at the same time I am completely infatuated (smitten even) with him and we still send rather silly useless emails and things to one another. I even went so far as to make him a pirate card to congratulate him, (I am so completely dangerous with photoshopI have a really strange obsession with pirates and those silly little faces in my journal).But, I suppose thats digressingSo this is todays rambling email.
I think I shall give up Canadian boys for the summer.
and - after all that shit about the smoking... i had a moment of weakness and serendipity.....
one of the women at work came in to see the "new digs" and we were talking about my window....i made a comment about how everyone smokes in front of it and i am a new non-smoker....turns out she's a facilitator for the american lung association's smoking cessation groups....very weird that she came in at the moment i was debating a cigarette (as it is nice out and there are many smokers outside) so i think that was a good thing as i know have someone here to talk me down from the occasional ledges I find myself on.
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when ya gonna be online again so we can chat?