Not leaving the house much recently feels bizarre. I'm in London. Usually my life is so busy here that I don't have time to think let alone stay in, but right now I am playing the hermit, listening to old remixes of Prodigy tracks and researching. The freezing fog outside the window is giving the entire estate a ghostly surreal feeling, I keep expecting to see someone appear out of the mist dressed in victorian clothing. Or to find myself in a scene from V for Vendetta, or worse, Jack The Ripper.
I did a last minute change to one of my topics and so I've had to start from scratch, I know this seems like it's just creating more work for myself, well it is, but the other two essays I wrote I was actually proud of. For the first time in my life. So, I decided that I wanted to write on photography and the repatriation of Mozambique, because I really care about those two things. For this I have been studying Sebastio Salgado, some of you are probably familiar with him. This particular extract made an impression:
"Este libro cuenta la historia de la humanidad en trnsito. Es una historia inquietante, porque muy poca gente abandona sus races por gusto. La mayora se ve obligada a convertirse en emigrantes, refugiados o exiliados por fuerzas que no pueden controlar, por la pobreza, la represin o las guerras. Huyen con las escasas pertenencias que son capaces de acarrear y se ponen en marcha como pueden, a bordo de barcos desvencijados, en trenes abarrotados, apretujados en camiones o a pie. Viajan solos, en familia o en grupos. Algunos saben adnde van y confan en que les espera una vida mejor. Otros se limitan a huir, satisfechos con estar vivos. Muchos de ellos no llegarn con vida a su destino.
[...] Lo que aprend de la naturaleza humana y el mundo en el que vivimos me hizo dudar profundamente sobre el futuro de la humanidad.
Pero tambin hubo momentos de esperanza. Descubr dignidad, compasin e incluso ilusin en situaciones en las que slo deba haber ira y amargura. Conoc a gente que lo haba perdido todo, pero que confiaba en un extrao. Sent una extrema admiracin por quienes lo arriesgaban todo, incluso sus propias vidas, para mejorar su destino. Me di cuenta que los seres humanos son capaces de adaptarse a las situaciones ms dificiles."
The pictures I am studying aren't the harrowing ones of the civil war in Angola. They aren't the tortured brazilian children, left to die on the streets. They aren't the crush of humanity in the worlds largest cities. They are the pictures of hope, the hope of a people for a new start in the aftermath of a war that destroyed their country. I wonder how soon new photos will be appearing of people facing the same problems. Sometimes the extent to which humanity loses sight of what really matters astounds me. Everything in this life is transitory, nothing material really matters, yet we still fight for power, couching it in grandiose terms and convincing ourselves that it is the right thing to do. Sometimes there is no other way. Sometimes, however, there has to be another solution.
I now understand what my 18th century french literature teacher was trying to say about the affect reading has on us. I am not accusing, just thinking out loud as it were. I am no morally better than anyone else. I am still a product of todays society.
