nikhita

"It will never be okay..."
As some will say
If purpose buried every day
As some will say
Lies that lead you to the grave

And some will say
"Your revolution, is a joke"

Busy. Always busy. This time it isn't keeping my mind off of everything, though I sometimes think I should have gone for a career as an actress.

And I love you...just the way you are

My mum came up to visit earlier this week which was good. I need to see her sometimes. I'm going home super soon for research purposes and damn, I need it. I will get there and bury my head in the sand. I do not want to be like this, my insecurities are spilling over into every other part of my life. Advice on how to compartmentalise my mind?

We had fun, me and mum. We went shopping for christmas for my baby cousins and my dad. We got to talk. Though I feel bad for her because I know that she has her own issues, I just....she's one of my best friends, and more obviously, so it's good to talk. She made me realise just how much stuff is bugging me, I honestly didn't know how much it affected everything else.

I know I still can't sort it, but at least I've gotten it all out now instead of keeping it inside. It means I'm not walking around like an angry emo twat anymore. Plus her boy has gone away this weekend (yeah, I was starting to think they had no other friends......) so that means the house is more...relaxed. There is no guilt, resentment or anything else floating around the house right now.

Hopefully this will give me the chance to stop being a crazy idiot and actually chill out.

There are monsters here...

In other news, Clio came to stay with her friend Chrissi. It felt like it had been forever even though in reality Trash Talk were over here not that long ago. I love seeing that girl and we had a blast, I was tired so a little untalkative but we still managed to hook up with Veloriaa and do a photoshoot for her. Honestly, it's amazing, though you'll have to wait till January to see it. They went to see Ryan Adams (aww bless the excitement) and I went and saw two of my favourite saaaath londoners. We drank a few too many cocktails and talked bollocks. Ben threatened to kill me, now I really feel like I'm accepted in SGUK. And friday we wandered around london, talked ate shot sets and met up with a lovely lovely friend of Clio's. I sent her off on a train to leeds for Damnation Festival this morning. Sadness .

The light looks good against the bruises on your cheek

So, now I need motivation, courage and advice on how to chill out about life in general. Ideas?