nikhita

You go back to what you know
So far removed from all we went through

My life is getting packed into little boxes again, I think I'm living in a constant state of transition which is slightly unsettling for someone who is normally only happy when settled. Still, I've been back almost a week and haven't yet adjusted to being here. I feel like a visitor and can't quite get into the swing of things, my brain is rejecting the thought of french grammar though I know I need to study, and I in general am putting off those things I should do in favour of dancing round the house in my underwear and high heels. Such is the freedom from living with boys.

There are some things I love, namely seeing my family, being looked after and fussed over (to an extent), and renewing friendships with people I thought had disappeared from my life...It scares me that people are growing up, getting married and starting families..I still feel so young, too young for that at any rate.

My odds are stacked and I go back to black

Then, I miss the freedom of late nights or early mornings, the calmness of nights on the beach, the lack of someone worrying where you are or where you are going at 3am...I've never been an insomniac but sometimes walking late at night helps me clear my head more than any other time.

I've been wandering round like a shadow today, not really thinking about what I need to move tomorrow but more about how to put this year into words. The bad parts are already disappearing though my writing has saved the worst parts as a reminder. I don't know why I force myself to remember bad things, maybe to keep a stronger grip on how reality works.

Instead of words I came up with albums, so here we go..this is what has been keeping me company over the past 11 months;

1. Brand New - The Devil and God...
2. Pink Floyd - A Momentary Lapse of Reason
3. Story of the Year - Page Avenue
4. Missy Higgins - The Sound Of White
5. Do Me Bad Things - YES!
7. Speak Low - I'm Gonna Groove Ya
8. Alexisonfire - Crisis
9. The Used - Lies for the Liars
10. Jimmy Eat World - Chase This Light
11. Thrice - The Artist in the Ambulance
12. Los Enanitos Verdes - Various
13. The Academy Is... - Almost Here

Along with various spanish artists, The Kooks and Amy Winehouse...MGMT and Scary Kids Scaring Kids...

There...my boring journal entry. I move in tomorrow so I will be around in London this weekend and will try to make it to a meet.