I kinda feel like blogging now. Odd for me. I normally hate typing these things up; hence mostly having pic blogs. (i promise ill add pics of stuffs soon. just feel like writing right now...)
Sititn in my hotel on day 1 of comic con (ok its NIGHT 1.. whatev). just have a lot on my mind.
its been a crazy summer. I feel like ive done a lot, but at the same time not accomplished a damn thing.
Ive done 2 different music festivals, with 1 left for me in this festy season. SummerCamp was great. HOT and dusty and fuck, but great. this was my first year. Deff think imma be going again next year!! I dig the camping, and LOVELOVELOVE the music and partying! Electric forest blew my mind, as expected. this was my 2nd year, and i deff was NOT dissapointed. went with some amazing people, and had a great fucking time. finnally got some VIDEO of me hooping!!! EF marked my 1 year anniversary as a hooper!! I was pretty stoaked for that! Lots of celebrating was done.
Ive competed in a 3 diff singing competitions. Even made it to the semi finals in one of em!! (ill post vids if anyones interested. They are already on fb, but i can post em here as well if requested). Currently in a country showdown, which is fucking hilarious cuz i cant stand country music. I just love performing, ya know? ill take the opportunity where i can get it!!
I went to the chi-land warped tour, and with the exception of a few bands, was greatly disappointed this year. The lineup was just crap in my opinion. And lets not forget they wouldnt let me in the gates with my hula hoop. Now someone please explain to me this... they dont allow wallet chains cuz it could b used as a weapon, but they let in skateboards... while NOT allowing my hoop?!?!? I dont get it... and i dont wanna hear "its not a hippie fest.... ect"
Im slowly getting back into modeling. I honestly dont know why i havnt been shooting much. Guess ive just been kinda depressed and uninspired. also (and i suppose this is just a lame excuse) theres little to no talent in my area. I live in the sticks (by starved rock state park for you IL folks...) It sucks having to drive 2 hours in any given direction to find a GOOD photographer. I have found one i really like, and cant wait to shoot with her again (miss SoBelle) We did some stuff for zivity. You can find the sets Here.... "Go With The Flow" And here... "Rugged Reflections" (message me with ur email if you need an invite!) Id like to start shooting for Cosplay deviants. I have a few costumes ready to go. just need to get the sets SHOT!
I went to the chi pride parade. that was pretty sweet. Kinda weird going with my bf, but whatev! lol got to hang with an old friend who i havnt seen in a while, so it was allll good!

I guess im sorta running out of steam (or at least a constant flow of thought). very a.d.d. got a lot on my mind, and not sure how to word it. for all the fun ive had this summer, i cant help but feel alone. i live with my bf, and our (now 3) cats. i feel like i never see anyone outside of work. I wake up, shower, go to work, come home; rinse and repeat. working nights, im starting to feel like im wasting my summer days. its so hard to hang out with people. its even harder when no one texts or calls you back. I like to chock it up to conflicting schedules, but i cant help but think its me sometimes, like ppl dont wanna hang, but dont wanna say it. they would rather ignore and avoid me. Dont get me wrong, i do have a few close friends. the irony of that statement being that they dont even LIVE close to me! Ah well, ya win some ya lose some right? and its the quality of the friend right? and damn they are good. I swear its like the further away they are, the better a friend they are. fucked up!!

I keep getting back to feeling down. even as i type about happy things i cant help but feeling like i want to cry. its really frustrating, those i suppose the booze doesnt help much.. hah i guess ive been struggling with this for a while. mostly by myself. I dont want to "tell a dr about my problems" or get medicated. i dont believe a pill can fix your problems. I believe its up to you. and i try. i do. times are SO freaking tough right now. works been really slow, theres nights im not making any money and just want to cry in the corner cuz i feel like the customers dont like me. i realize being an alt girl in a country strip club isnt ideal... but i dont wanna drive 2 hours for work... i try to remind myself that id rather not make shit and have the freedom to dress/look how i want, than to let some corporate asshole tell me to take out my piercings and cover up my hair and tats.
so stressed... I dont want to get super into detail about it, but between work, my relationship, my singing competitions, and the need to go but inability to do so... i get really sad. and stressed of course... >.>
i feel like im rambling... and I prob am... ah well. Ill be super amazed if anyones still reading...
I guess ill end this with saying i ordered some dreads from Annasthesia. They are awesome. and i love them. addicted.
Cant really think of much else to type right now. Its the end of day 1 at comic con and im going to bed early like a lame ass. Maybe the rest of the weekend will bring me some parties.
I leave you with a few pics....




FaceBook - Niji Chan
Model Mayhem
Zivity
FormSpring
Hoop City (online hooping community)
Instagram @ Niji_Chan

That is all for now. night!!


**edit.... WHo can help me get my pics to actually fit in the blog?? its super annoying that sometimes they fit and sometimes they dont. is there a trick? if so, please share...**