nihilism

I like hanging out at my house by myself, now...harassing people to come over and hang out with no success.

It's actually pretty nice...I don't have anyone else's shit to put up with...just my own...I'm gonna get more active, dammit.

IIIIII'm so bore-ore-ored
With the U.S.A.

I just wanna have someone around...that I can stand to be around all the time...

Why exactly is this plaguing my mind so much?

I'm better...just don't do anything that reminds me of what happened...

That's the only thing I need...

So Saturday I find out why I haven't talked to that stupid cunt...

She decided to just start dating some random fucking scene emo kid out of fucking nowhere...

I want to know what the fuck I did to her to deserve something like that...

Needless to say, I've had lots of beer running through my system since I've figured out what was going on......
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Things were up, things were down, things got to be extremely "okay" and that's where I am now. I'm not happy, not sad, not bored, not excited, not loving, not lethargic, nothing really...

I'll feel a lot better when I get to hang with her again...or at least talk to her like I used to...

Long talks on the phone from an out-of-area number and then a feeling of emptiness when they're back in the zip code...should go away tomorrow...

Things are good, but are looking really really really gloomy...thanks for making everything so difficult!

*THUMBS UP!*

*shrug*

That's about the extent of things...

I'm happier than I have been in a long time. I think the estimated time it's been since I've been this happy is somewhere around 8 months.

If measured from the last time I was this close and/or having what I've got now, it's 4 years...I feel really old with that statistic.