well i have had the entire weekend off,so it gave me the chance to talk to friends on a personal level,for the first time in a long time i have been feeling rather happy,i watched the moon grow full over the past few nights,and i have had a calming feeling come over me.
but as soon as i begin to feel this way,everyone around me is falling apart,what has happened?
dear friends,there are so many beautiful things in the world i want to share with each of you,in a different way.
your saddness has given me the drive to want to change things...to see the light in your eyes again.
when i was in my shell and felt so alone your kind words took the hurt and the numb feelings away,and i never knew how you hurt for me,untill now,and my heart is hurting for you.
things that i grow so angry about,the silly little things i make into a big deal when my loves are in true pain,have i been so blind?
im sorry,for being away,you are where i gain my strength,my soul,the center of me,i will never leave my hearts again.
my love is always there,you will never have to ask for it again...please know it.
ok now as well as the people around me,my online friends,have seemed to have a meltdown as well.
and just because i dont know all of you on a personal level,do not think i care for you any less....i love all of you,and long for the hours of idel chit chat we have together.and maybe one day,we will have the chance to welcome each other with open arms in person.
so just know at 4:00 in the morning i am thinking about you,so deeply,and sending my love to you the only way i know how...please reach for me at anytime.
i have been in the bed for the past 3 hours,not sleepy,just there,under my velvet blanket.and the crazy moon beaming through a crack between the curtain and the wall.no sounds all the lights are off.with the pale blue blanket pulled over my head,its texture is so soft,its almost wet feeling.i can see the mounds of fabric falling across my body,dark shadows produced by the moon.the smell of wild flowers from the fabric softner i use,is becomming more fragrant against the warmth of my body.
i love the smell,love the feel...and the shadows that play with me in the piles of lush fabric...
hide and seek with the moon.
i trace the folds with my fingertips,up and down,pumping air that makes an ocean of waves across my bed.watching it fall across me,the coolness from the air,brings a tingle to my skin.i trace my arm from my shoulder down to the bend in my elbow and then to my wrist,i draw slow small circles around the small heart tattoo there.moisture is beading around the corners of my mouth,from my hot breath.with the back of my hand,i caress my cheek.my hair is wet still from my shower,and is now very cold to the touch,i feel it on the back of my neck.my lips are burning to be pressed tight.i run my fingers across them,slightly parted,dipping my finger in for more moisture.in the quiet i can hear my heart begin to beat faster.like connect the dots i trace down my neck between my breasts that are beginning to swell with excitment,in the shadows my nipples show that i am begging for pleasure.as i continue to trace down my torso,to my navel,i can feel myself rise,the arch in my back burns as i become very tense.now the folds of velvet are fitted loosly to my body,in tune with my body i pay no attention to the waves in the fabric that sparked my attention in the first place.across my hips still slightly damp from the aloe i had smothered myself in a few hours before...still very cool to the touch...i hear myself chuckle outloud,i feel as if i am a young girl again,just learning the pleasures that could come from within...moving in slow motion,i roll over on my back,pillows everywhere,my own little fort of pleasure...i begin to make my way down futher,first slow,not to be rushed,finding my own speed,then more steady,by now i am so arroused my legs quiver,and my blanket falls to the floor,releasing the heat that was surrounding me.and as it swept to the floor,it burned accross my nipple,and only drove my speed faster.my knuckle are turning white from holding my pillow so tight,as if it would keep me from erupting at anytime.with a violent shake the tension left my body,i feel my legs shaking in rhythm with my breathing...all is calm and as quiet as it was when it first began.i pull my blanket from the floor,and nestle it back around my body,the beams of light are comming from a different crack in the window now,i light a cigarette,and blow smoke rings in the dark...
nite nite.......sgland
mandy...
but as soon as i begin to feel this way,everyone around me is falling apart,what has happened?
dear friends,there are so many beautiful things in the world i want to share with each of you,in a different way.
your saddness has given me the drive to want to change things...to see the light in your eyes again.
when i was in my shell and felt so alone your kind words took the hurt and the numb feelings away,and i never knew how you hurt for me,untill now,and my heart is hurting for you.
things that i grow so angry about,the silly little things i make into a big deal when my loves are in true pain,have i been so blind?
im sorry,for being away,you are where i gain my strength,my soul,the center of me,i will never leave my hearts again.
my love is always there,you will never have to ask for it again...please know it.
ok now as well as the people around me,my online friends,have seemed to have a meltdown as well.
and just because i dont know all of you on a personal level,do not think i care for you any less....i love all of you,and long for the hours of idel chit chat we have together.and maybe one day,we will have the chance to welcome each other with open arms in person.
so just know at 4:00 in the morning i am thinking about you,so deeply,and sending my love to you the only way i know how...please reach for me at anytime.
i have been in the bed for the past 3 hours,not sleepy,just there,under my velvet blanket.and the crazy moon beaming through a crack between the curtain and the wall.no sounds all the lights are off.with the pale blue blanket pulled over my head,its texture is so soft,its almost wet feeling.i can see the mounds of fabric falling across my body,dark shadows produced by the moon.the smell of wild flowers from the fabric softner i use,is becomming more fragrant against the warmth of my body.
i love the smell,love the feel...and the shadows that play with me in the piles of lush fabric...
hide and seek with the moon.
i trace the folds with my fingertips,up and down,pumping air that makes an ocean of waves across my bed.watching it fall across me,the coolness from the air,brings a tingle to my skin.i trace my arm from my shoulder down to the bend in my elbow and then to my wrist,i draw slow small circles around the small heart tattoo there.moisture is beading around the corners of my mouth,from my hot breath.with the back of my hand,i caress my cheek.my hair is wet still from my shower,and is now very cold to the touch,i feel it on the back of my neck.my lips are burning to be pressed tight.i run my fingers across them,slightly parted,dipping my finger in for more moisture.in the quiet i can hear my heart begin to beat faster.like connect the dots i trace down my neck between my breasts that are beginning to swell with excitment,in the shadows my nipples show that i am begging for pleasure.as i continue to trace down my torso,to my navel,i can feel myself rise,the arch in my back burns as i become very tense.now the folds of velvet are fitted loosly to my body,in tune with my body i pay no attention to the waves in the fabric that sparked my attention in the first place.across my hips still slightly damp from the aloe i had smothered myself in a few hours before...still very cool to the touch...i hear myself chuckle outloud,i feel as if i am a young girl again,just learning the pleasures that could come from within...moving in slow motion,i roll over on my back,pillows everywhere,my own little fort of pleasure...i begin to make my way down futher,first slow,not to be rushed,finding my own speed,then more steady,by now i am so arroused my legs quiver,and my blanket falls to the floor,releasing the heat that was surrounding me.and as it swept to the floor,it burned accross my nipple,and only drove my speed faster.my knuckle are turning white from holding my pillow so tight,as if it would keep me from erupting at anytime.with a violent shake the tension left my body,i feel my legs shaking in rhythm with my breathing...all is calm and as quiet as it was when it first began.i pull my blanket from the floor,and nestle it back around my body,the beams of light are comming from a different crack in the window now,i light a cigarette,and blow smoke rings in the dark...
nite nite.......sgland
mandy...
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xoxo