nightmare_stang

hmmm rawr rawr so i only have one true problem and its alwyas on my mind being alone i talk about it all the time to the poiint where it angrys me but i rarely have someone to carry on a convo about it and get some real perspective on it but my big problem is that i m along singal and scared of being it for the fact that i want some one to crawl in bed with at night and hold and keep warm someone who whats to see me or have me in there life someone with open arms as i get home and take off my uniform so i can become bestfriends with a love my soul mate someone that i may want to have my little zombies with its been about a year since i ve even kissed a girl let alone know the warmth of passanite love and glisning eye gazing into mine or even the option to hold hands would be asome so how sad am i really i m not a bad guy not at all i think i always get the same line your a nice guy but so so i ve tried to be a jerk but tis not me i was raised to respect girls for the have the greatest abillity on this earth and that being able to create life i can make stuff but not bring a life form into this world i try to be romantic and spontanise always surprising understnading and so forth but its like these quallities that make me who i am are not wanted by anyone girl i don't ask for much and i try to give as much as possible and it doesn't take much to even make me happy just faithfulness being honest at all times and just be one anothers so i don't know i ve tried the whole club and bar scene but no luck always has a b/f or somethin so i ve pretty much given up even though deep down i still have hope that i get to be happy some day maybe it s the area i live in or my job or i m just a chud but i ve been trying not to think about it hoping it ll just go away no more problem u see but saddly i m in the desert IRAQ the worst place to be with this problem because everyone around me is getting letter packages and phone calls for the others and its in my face all the fucking time i just get in the truck and sit at the end of the run way waitting till its time to go home it seems like so i don't know i meen like on here i see this drop dead beautiful girl with think in commen with yeah yeah and shes in the same kinda way with the dating thing but yet hear i am a wworld away and how would i even go about being like hi i d just come off as being fucking wierd or some internet perv or something i m just fucked 6 more months of this shit and then i ll be back in the states and i moff for 6 weeks and i m hittin the fuckin road don't know where i m going don't care maybe that ll fixs this ? i d kill write now for someone to talk to or have a real conversation with i don't know later days zach