I am sorry this a sad blog and if I have problems keeping it organized thought wise. I ask that you please bear with me through this.
As everyone knows I have a sevice dog ( Kirby). His purpose is because like many here, I suffer from major depression disorder and anxiety. There have suicide attempts in the past, many years ago. This steams from military service and later 3 divorces and now my soon to be 14 year old son living in Washington State with me in Ohio. I have seen him 1 week in the last I think it is 6 years. My memory is crap, doctors say its do to the stress and depression. It could be the head injuries to.
While in the military I suffered the first back injury. It took a while to get better but finally it did start it improve. 9 years after getting out of the military I became a nurse and after 7 years into the career I started suffering multiple back injuries. These continued and the depression got worse and worse. I ended up getting the last divorce and, well I ended up medically retiring from work 2 1/2 years ago. Due to my back and not being able to concentrate on anything. The concentrating factor and being a nurse is a bad combination when it comes to patient safety!
OK so that's the past! The veterans administration has me classified as unemployable and that gives me enough money to live on. Of coarse I am still fighting social security, but the lawyer says he is feeling confident after the string of latest events.
NOW IT GETS WORST! My back is still doing bad matter fact it is worst. It is to the point that in September I will be 49 and they got me using a cane. I fell last year and busted 3 ribs due to numbness in my legs. Now it feels like knives stabbing my feet at times.
But I can live with my back getting worse, however this next item over shadows all my problems! I found out a week ago that my sister the doctors believe has major cancer! We will know more about it by the end of the month! I have talked to my pysch Dr and such, but as you can imagine my depression and anxiety have went through the roof.
So if I talk crazy or confused here in the near future please forgive me! Thank you, I needed to get this off my chest and let everyone know where I might be coming from if things get even more crazy around here.
Thank you Nighthowler