nicotine

wew what a fuck up.

My brains being pretty crap at the moment. Ive got this headache, my head is literally screaming, and its hurting
the walls. Im stressed, longing, missing, obsessed, bloody... having very unhealthy thoughts by there thousands. Though, it seems to of brought me closer to music, of all kinds. Ive always loved using music to help relate to things happening in my life and clarify other things in my head... it seems whatever happens, i find a piece of music or a few that can almost dictate whats going on. And once thats stuck, that piece of music is a part of me forever. Its fabulous.

Moneys a big old problem still. My dole got fucking stopped, over confusion over part-time work. So in all these weeks
of applying for jobs ive had one lousy fucking job interview... at cafe nero... i did an hours work for them, not even
for a cent, so they could see how i do... i got caked in... cake? For nothing. Im thinking, why these fuckers not
respond? I have 2 page CV! HAHA. I really wanted place at the tonic. Its like a comedy club, that would of been rad.

Anyway so yes, im still happy, very happy now i finally have broadband... and i can watch youtube for 10 hours, nathan barley,
jeff buckley interviews and lots of gwen stafani... and animals knocking babies over and dumb shit like that...

I had this dream the other night i had one of those fake babies, a erm... baby simulator? I got sent it for punishment
for i dont fucking no what... but this thing was mad... it was naked all the time... u had to breast feed it properly,
and suddenly i could squeeze milk out of my breasts! But i got really bored and left it with my friend, came back and he just
kicked the thing under the bed, and it was nearly dead... its face had changed to really disturbing... so i took it to
a theme park, which had some sword fish for some reason... and i just dropped the baby in and they ate it... end of dream.

I would pay excellent money for someone to come up with a good theory of what this dream actually means... and what the fucks
going on in my head, like...


hmm hears some pictures of me...






I love this picture of me and Sega

I coloured over my bra showing on paint

My plans:
*Brighton AGAIN... for my friends birthday... this weekend
*Studio photography course a week tomorrow... i can't wait
*My birthday 10th december

*Hopefully ill be a working girls soon too... not just temporary!

xxx