Been working so fucking hard at jacks. Nearly chipped my legs falling in a roll-top trying to get on the bar to dance which sucked. I looked like a right silly goose egg. Its hard to explain what the roll-top is, but pretty much its a massive metal cooler with a sliding lid and the lid gave way whilst i was sqwatting on it, i was pumping my arms though like a retard waiting for the song i was gonna dance to on the bar, and next thing i was right inside, grazed and swollen 
Trying to control my eating habits, and teaching myself yoga, and guitare (again). I need to put on a little weight but its real hard. Both gaining and losing weight is a mental strain. Sure alot of know. I just want to be healthy. Mentally i feel able to do anything, but smoking, drinking, workload and low immune system is getting in the way. Im starting to move at a better pace. Anything can be done, but i was doing things to fast. In general i walked to fast, i talked to fast, i drank to fast... It was like being stuck on a tredmill at top speed, I couldnt hack it, burnt away, fell to the ground. 10 weeks off sick later and I know what was going wrong. If things start going wrong again, ill be more then ready.
After my rest and on my return, is the only time it struck me my whole self was sped up. Its like a fog now I dont remember much. I couldn't keep still for a second. I went out every night with people I didnt want to be with. Because anything was better then nothing really. Im so happy my burnout is over. And im starting again, but even more impressed with myself then before. I take everything in my stride. I take deep breaths, and use my eyes to really swallow everything in around me. Its a great peace. Not yet shattered.
I saw the most horrific thing yesterday. Someone along trent bridge just been smashed by a bus. Happened last night and I even dreamt about his flat-lifeless face. Im all glum now. Im off for a swim guys. Hope all uk homies are making the most of this fine fine weather. Goodday to you all!
EDIRT: On a brighter more sugary note, ive just eaten the most chocolate i have ever eaten in one spell. I'll vomit if anything else solid must pass these greedy lips
Trying to control my eating habits, and teaching myself yoga, and guitare (again). I need to put on a little weight but its real hard. Both gaining and losing weight is a mental strain. Sure alot of know. I just want to be healthy. Mentally i feel able to do anything, but smoking, drinking, workload and low immune system is getting in the way. Im starting to move at a better pace. Anything can be done, but i was doing things to fast. In general i walked to fast, i talked to fast, i drank to fast... It was like being stuck on a tredmill at top speed, I couldnt hack it, burnt away, fell to the ground. 10 weeks off sick later and I know what was going wrong. If things start going wrong again, ill be more then ready.
After my rest and on my return, is the only time it struck me my whole self was sped up. Its like a fog now I dont remember much. I couldn't keep still for a second. I went out every night with people I didnt want to be with. Because anything was better then nothing really. Im so happy my burnout is over. And im starting again, but even more impressed with myself then before. I take everything in my stride. I take deep breaths, and use my eyes to really swallow everything in around me. Its a great peace. Not yet shattered.
I saw the most horrific thing yesterday. Someone along trent bridge just been smashed by a bus. Happened last night and I even dreamt about his flat-lifeless face. Im all glum now. Im off for a swim guys. Hope all uk homies are making the most of this fine fine weather. Goodday to you all!
EDIRT: On a brighter more sugary note, ive just eaten the most chocolate i have ever eaten in one spell. I'll vomit if anything else solid must pass these greedy lips
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I read about that crash in the paper. What an awful thing to witness. No more bad dreams please.
Jacks? Jumping Jacks?
Will be out again next thursday as usual though, so I'll see you then