nicolery

i am not an animal lover.

i have told so many people that i am not all into animals and shtuff, and the general reaction i receive consists of a look fulfilled with perplexion and a few words along the lines of "devil worshiper" and "evildoer". haha...well, no one has actually ever said that to me, but i can tell that most are thinking similar ideas!

just because i don't like animals does not mean i am a horrible person. some people just have a hard time accepting others' likes and dislikes.

so why don't i like animals? why do they absolutely disgust me?
1. the smell--especially dogs with stinky breath...gag me with a spoon, please!
2. the hair all over the place--i'm sorry, but i like eating my cereal without hair on my spoon, thank you very much
3. the noises that come from their vocal chords (example: barking, purring, baa'ing, cawing, etc.)
4. they like to do their business whereva eva they please
5. i had a dog bite me when i was little. the traumaaaa the traumaaaa
6. the sniffing of crotches, licking, persistent jumping on you


i don't know, maybe i'm just a pussy. whatever the case may be, I HATE ANIMALS!



So what did I do today? Oh, yeah. I killed a few people for the hell of it, stole some money from the orphanage down the street, ran over some kids on bikes (they shouldn't be on them in the first place, gawd! it's winter for crying out loud!), and lied to each and every single one of you.