nicolajane

Isn't the beach a wonderful place to go for a walk or a run i always find it kinda helps to make you think or forget things that are not so important having a weird start to the week alot happened to me over the past few days some good things and some bad.

Im dreading next tuesday my dad has been passed away for 4 years weird how it always hits me a week before i was in denial for a long time didn't believe he was going to die i always imagined he was this invincible man who would always have the answer to anything i asked or was always there when i needed him most if i fell he would pick me up, when i got dumped he wiped the tears off my face, when i was in the wrong he gave me a look which i knew he disaproved, he never shouted at me and only slapped my arse once in my entire life it hurt him more than me i ignored him for about a month hehe i never imagined my world without him he died of lung cancer and collapsed in the hallway and i arrived too late to say goodbye i just saw this cold figure lying in front of me and there was nothing anyone could do. At his funeral i wore bright colours and dyed my hair as red as i could possibly get it and then i realised life was too short and still 4 years on i feel robbed only my mum ever speaks of him my brothers pretend that he didn't exist its a cold house at this time of year...
xxx