nickherdmann

wow. so its time to be completely open with all of you. i urge you to take the time to read this and know that i have absolutely no reason to be anything but real with you. if you dont care to know.... then just delete me now and we can all go about our lives. but if you want to know why i have become the person i am... then this will be exactly the things that have done it.

I have just gone through the worst period of time in my entire life. nothing has come close to the sheer disgust i feel right now so here's the story. take what you will from it. i really dont care what anyone thinks of me on this site anymore.
at christmas time i moved my then girlfriend from the east coast here to ohio.... she was in a terrible place in her life and needed my help, so i did the only thing i felt was right. she came here to stay in my parents home. its very nice, and large enough that we could still have somewhat of a private life. she started to feel better physically and mentally soon after coming here and i really began to get excited about our future together.
then we found out she was pregnant. instead of freaking out, i took it as a blessing... with so much adversity and negativity around us... i saw the beauty in it. i became the doting boyfriend... taking her to every appointment (including the ones for other injuries).... running to the store at all hours for whatever she needed... being thoughtful and picking up things she didnt ask for.... making sure she was comfortable....and more than happy to do so.
things were very difficult and i assumed it was because of pregnancy hormones... she was quite sick all the time... for a long time.... she withdrew and took up residence in another room of the house.... we argued more.... i couldnt seem to please her. she demanded i see a doctor for my anxiety.... i did. i got put on wellbutrin and it has truly helped immensly.....
then a few weeks ago we got into it over someone she talks to that had been extremely rude to me... not a huge deal just something i wished to resolve... it blew up, she took off for the day. later that night she came home (she's 14 weeks pregnant at this point mind you) .... and something was off.
well it turned out she was drunk... and on her prescribed pain pills as well.... but sloppy... slurring, stumbling.... i tried to reason with her and get her to seek help but she attacked me and left me no option other than to call the police. i knew the relationship was over from that moment .they came... did a great job listening and investigating for themselves.... i didnt wish to press charges, i just wanted her to get help. an officer and i found empty alcohol bottles in her room... after they left i saw the true magnitude of what she had done.
this is what was found stuffed into the hamper and other places in her room. she had only been in there a month....and thats just what she didnt throw away. there was more in the car we let her drive. all empty.

so she showed back up at 5am with a friend... and left. since then i had gotten very close with her parents and learned that she had been destroying everyones lives that she touched since she became a teenager... so we made a plan... to make sure that the baby would have a great home with a loving father... and not have to know the pain of having a parent that had already shown the carelessness to harm it.... i filed reports... talked with a lawyer... founf out that what she had done was in no way ilegal and that there was very little i could do until the baby was born.

so fast foreward to today.... i had put aside my anger and reached out... asking for information as to the health of the baby.... and i get the second bomb...

its not mine. obviously i will be demanding a paternity test to prove it as i have developed a love and connection to that baby.... but worse is the parents who have written her off... but decided to support me as their own through this.... have no responsible parent for their grandchild.

she showed the ability to completely use up a person.... soul mind and body. i have no trust in people after this... its going to be a hard road. if you know me, and know her... i dont know why on earth you would feel any sympathy for that kind of person and i just wanted you all to know the truth... because i feel she would gladly do the same to anyone and believe it or not.... i care about a great deal of you. if you have a problem with this post just please delete me without further comment. thank you for your time.