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niav

Tyler, TX

Member Since 2004

Followers 8 Following 3

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Wednesday Sep 21, 2005

Sep 20, 2005
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I feel so hurt and alone. I don't understand why this happened. How do you expect me to go on as friends hanging out every day? You can't take away JUST the title after 2 years of living basically as though we're married and expect everything to be perfect! Yes, I have a PROBLEM with that. (imagine that!)

It hurts beyond words that you want me to be around, but not to claim me. You want all the benifets of a relationship (companionship, intimacy, support, etc..) but not any of the resposibilities. And I'm supposed to be happy? To see it as a freedom? I'm just being stuck in your back pocket until you've decided to commit.

And suposedly I'm "allowed" to date other people if I want to, but let's think about that. I didn't want to break up- So why would I want to date other people in the first place? And if there was any chance of us getting back together, then I definetly couldn't date anyone else during this time. You see, I'm not "single" right now in reality. I'm on probation. You have this problem with trusting people. I thought that would change one of these days. I thought you would have figured it out by now who I am and what I stand for. I'm sick of the interrigations. But now I have to prove myself as well...

You wanted to break things off to "spend more time alone," "time with your guy friends," "be single," "work on a new band," etc, for whatever reasons......but what am I left with? I have nothing. The bottom of my world just dropped out, everything I thought was solid has been shattered. I'M AFRAID, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!?! I gave up everything-turned my back on my family, I gave up all my friends, my future, my life. It was all invested in you and a future together. And now I have nothing but fear. Of course I want to get back together! You know, you bailing out wasn't a part of the plan.

And above all...Things are going to happen in the outside of relationships that neither person has control over. But you have to work things through, you have to make it through the rocky parts-it can't always be perfect. You can't give up when it get's rough. You can't decide to break up until things "get better" and then rekindle it like nothing ever happened. Because something did happen.

You hurt me
yourhog:
Ditto to what i put on sydfloyd's, although naturally I'd say you probably don't have as much reason to trust me as he does. I figure you wouldn't have put this up here if you didn't want anyone to give a damn, so with that in mind, I hope I'm not being weird...
I gotta say, I'm throwing this out there because I think it's what I should do if i consider both/either of you my friends- but to honest, even if it weren't for that, the apparent utter wrongness on the small part of this that i can see would probably have sparked my interest just like seeing a bad car wreck might.
Sep 21, 2005
irishhitman:
frown Hugs
Sep 25, 2005

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