This blog homework is back from 4/21!
The most common thing for someone to assume about me is that I am a drug addict. This is probably the number one reason I deal with untreated anxiety as I am too nervous that the doctor will assume I am looking for a prescription to get high on. Another experience that has contributed to my paranoia of going to the doctor to treat my anxiety is the last two times I went to the dentist. The first two wisdom teeth that I had pulled he wrote me a prescription for some pain meds that were nothing special. The dentist instructed me to ONLY take them if I need them and NOT to take more than instructed. What the hell is that suppose to mean? I wish my mouth wasn't numb and packed with gauze so I could have asked him myself. I was pissed. When I went to go get the other two wisdom teeth pulled he would not even write me a prescription. Just straight up said I did not need it. Which I begged to differ but ya know, I couldn't argue since my mouth was numb and filled with gauze, yet again. Needless to say I was so pissed I wanted to cry.
A few months ago, I was on a work trip with a really good friend of mine, an older gentleman, who I knew from my previous job. I don't travel much and even though I love to explore new territory, I get really bad anxiety about traveling and not being where I am comfortable. I had to share one airbnb with him and two other co-workers and one bathroom. Needless to say I thought I was going to have a heart attack because I ended up in living room on the futon (because I am way too nice and was not going to insist that I take one of the rooms), no internet and no TV throughout the house. I was basically sitting in complete silence which was driving me nuts. I had already had to sit in a car for 8 hours with these people. People I like but not my everyday peeps. I ended up having a meltdown with this guy when we went to get dinner and could not even eat. He gave me one of his low dose Xanax and I could not believe that it actually made me feel better. I was able to function just fine but I felt like my worries and discomfort of not being in my own home, in my own bed, with my hubby and taking care of my normal responsibilities was not an issue in that moment in time. I was actually able to think with a clear mind and accept the fact that the current situation was temporary and that I would be home sooner than I know it. Plus side was, I fell asleep with no issues that night. So my question is, How do I go to a doctor and tell them I know what I need without it reinforcing peoples assumptions about me being a drug addict? I smoke weed. I by no means do drugs. I took care of all that experimentation when I was much younger. I barely even drink.
Most recently, I heard from my husband that while on a work trip (we work for the same organization), a volunteer happened to mention how she felt very sorry for me back when I was pregnant almost two years ago because she assumed I was a single mother based on the way that I look and assumed people who look like me like to sleep around. She had not known we were married until the day she made that comment. It was a little upsetting but I brushed it off. That was the first time I heard that one!