When Life Loses It's Bite
Every time I see my children I feel I've let them down. That when it comes down to it, I'm going to fail them because I'm not going to beat this, I'm not going to make it.
The feeling has been creeping back, eating away at me again;
I'm not good enough.
Any idea what that feeling is like to live with all the time, every day? Kinda gets to you, doesn't it? Well imagine having that thought and not being able to get rid of it, then you get some idea of what it's like when you suffer from depression.
So now, I'm back at the edge, or at least taking a stroll towards it with the intention of looking in and wondering if this time will be the one where I step into the void.
Why not? My life is shit, I've lived in fear and it's destroyed my ability to enjoy life or be myself or just be happy and live for the moment.
MSN keeps eating my blogs so I'm getting more despondent with everything - you know, that feeling that nothing goes right, that the world is against you.
Even my Blue Nile playlist isn't helping, that's probably making me feel worse if anything, it's soulful and not exactly what you would call uplifting.
Status Anhedonia
Condition Flat
That Pit looks pretty deep...
Every time I see my children I feel I've let them down. That when it comes down to it, I'm going to fail them because I'm not going to beat this, I'm not going to make it.
The feeling has been creeping back, eating away at me again;
I'm not good enough.
Any idea what that feeling is like to live with all the time, every day? Kinda gets to you, doesn't it? Well imagine having that thought and not being able to get rid of it, then you get some idea of what it's like when you suffer from depression.
So now, I'm back at the edge, or at least taking a stroll towards it with the intention of looking in and wondering if this time will be the one where I step into the void.
Why not? My life is shit, I've lived in fear and it's destroyed my ability to enjoy life or be myself or just be happy and live for the moment.
MSN keeps eating my blogs so I'm getting more despondent with everything - you know, that feeling that nothing goes right, that the world is against you.
Even my Blue Nile playlist isn't helping, that's probably making me feel worse if anything, it's soulful and not exactly what you would call uplifting.
Status Anhedonia
Condition Flat
That Pit looks pretty deep...
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I've been two timing you, yes, I found another blog and I've been writing there, though it's nothing serious, was only for the kicks.,... one of those mistakes we make - how can you forgive me, you know how it is - boy meets blog, blog meets boy, boy blogs, blog has someone else, it ends in tears, boy left blogless and again all alone and loveless.
Why the hell couldn't you be a Scorpio or something... then I wouldn't have to lie about my age!?
Damn woman, you're still hot!
yeah yeah i'm a great smooth talker, i win