Blew the bank, ordered myself some fair trade trainers. Rah!
Another episode over, boy is the doc gonna have a headache when I see him next - when I can get an appt, that is. Convinced these meds just ain't cutting the mustard.
Feeling better for sleep, definitely - got around 6 hours, plus an hour or so during afternoon. Still up at 5am, but considering how I felt over the weekend, this is bliss! I can even deal with the back/leg agony for the moment. Seems like every other week I get this real downer, so gotta ask doc about that pattern, also try to eat & sleep (I wish!).
I don't ask to feel like shit, I don't ask to get episodes where depression kicks in and turns me into a quivering heap, I'd like to be able to function as a person just like any other sane person would take for granted. But it seems like until the right meds are found for me, I've got a protracted case of the blues for the foreseeable future.
Talking to those people at work who haven't ostrasized me helped a lot yesterday, as did #1 mate, but for the love of God, I'd just like for this damned depression to lift, ge gone for good, y'know?
Status Cold chicken & thai curries (mission: yellow)
Condition Feeling better. Need to laugh, need to smile. Want big grins.
Moments in lucidity... bail out of this rental syndrome and start scrimping & saving to buy my own place.
Means trying to re-establish communications with my mum, which is going to be cringeworthy... but trying t be positive, if I can do that, then I'm getting over this bloody illness again.
Another episode over, boy is the doc gonna have a headache when I see him next - when I can get an appt, that is. Convinced these meds just ain't cutting the mustard.
Feeling better for sleep, definitely - got around 6 hours, plus an hour or so during afternoon. Still up at 5am, but considering how I felt over the weekend, this is bliss! I can even deal with the back/leg agony for the moment. Seems like every other week I get this real downer, so gotta ask doc about that pattern, also try to eat & sleep (I wish!).
I don't ask to feel like shit, I don't ask to get episodes where depression kicks in and turns me into a quivering heap, I'd like to be able to function as a person just like any other sane person would take for granted. But it seems like until the right meds are found for me, I've got a protracted case of the blues for the foreseeable future.
Talking to those people at work who haven't ostrasized me helped a lot yesterday, as did #1 mate, but for the love of God, I'd just like for this damned depression to lift, ge gone for good, y'know?
Status Cold chicken & thai curries (mission: yellow)
Condition Feeling better. Need to laugh, need to smile. Want big grins.
Moments in lucidity... bail out of this rental syndrome and start scrimping & saving to buy my own place.
Means trying to re-establish communications with my mum, which is going to be cringeworthy... but trying t be positive, if I can do that, then I'm getting over this bloody illness again.