Before I got to the assessment, my feelings towards the whole mental health care issue was at best ambivalent, at worse, downright pissed off with it. Then I got there and the assessment discussion took place. I admitted how I felt about the situation, that it felt like an exercise and that the professionals learnt this stuff, but did they ever experience it? Empathy is...
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Joined an abuse survivors forum today, feels very exposed introducing myself and my history. Then again, it's only been around six weeks that I found out that I was abused as a child myself and the fallout over that and what happened last year has left me shaken to the point that I've made several suicide attempts this year alone.
Another appt with CPN today,...
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Another appt with CPN today,...
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Do I buy an Ipod?
It'll give me something to listen to at work, but it means breaking into funds I don't really have...
It'll give me something to listen to at work, but it means breaking into funds I don't really have...
Since my 40th birthday,
I've had a breakdown
Been divorced
Lost my home
See my chidren only as a part time father
Overdosed apx 4 times in two months due to severe reaction to SSRI's
Been in hospital for;
Meatal stricture of the urethra - you don't want to know, but in involves catheters
Nerve root block on my spine due to slipped disc
Overdosing...
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I've had a breakdown
Been divorced
Lost my home
See my chidren only as a part time father
Overdosed apx 4 times in two months due to severe reaction to SSRI's
Been in hospital for;
Meatal stricture of the urethra - you don't want to know, but in involves catheters
Nerve root block on my spine due to slipped disc
Overdosing...
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fenstar:
yes, yes it can, but ya know, no matter what some of us are still here for you 
If I ever get my head sorted and believe in myself, I'm seriously considering becoming a full time misanthrope!
Feeling seriously fucked off, instead of seriously depressed after visiting the misanthropes here on SG... odd that it actually made me feel better
Gotta get through Sunday, then deal with next week. Got to seriously think about going back to work, luckily trip to counsellor at...
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Feeling seriously fucked off, instead of seriously depressed after visiting the misanthropes here on SG... odd that it actually made me feel better
Gotta get through Sunday, then deal with next week. Got to seriously think about going back to work, luckily trip to counsellor at...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
fenstar:
YUM! Why have you taken me off your friends list?
PS - I'd noticed before now, just thought I would ask!
PS - I'd noticed before now, just thought I would ask!
OK, I know that under the circumstances, I'm probably not thinking straight, but that's part of the problem these days, being able to function, which between us, I feel like my ability to deal with life, function without having my issues screw me up all the time, being scared, fucked up... call it what you want.
I don't know how much longer I can deal...
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I don't know how much longer I can deal...
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Groovy!
Been watching Gorillaz vids earlier, Patch Adams before that and having a drink and a cig and yes, it's very late.
On new meds, Dosulepin, which seems to have lifted my depression so far! Yay!!! If it works, that's one hurdle down, then the next fall in order, hopefully.
You have NO idea what it feels like to have it taken away, no idea...
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Been watching Gorillaz vids earlier, Patch Adams before that and having a drink and a cig and yes, it's very late.
On new meds, Dosulepin, which seems to have lifted my depression so far! Yay!!! If it works, that's one hurdle down, then the next fall in order, hopefully.
You have NO idea what it feels like to have it taken away, no idea...
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Fuck me, it's cold. I wish I could fucking hibernate, I've had enough of this shit! It's cold, I'm miserable as sin, I'm broke and just had to cash in my savings policies to pay off my debts and I'm also feeling somewhat pissed off with everything, so feel like throwing a temper tantrum at the world and life in general for being so unfair...
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So much for subliminals!
Can't say I've noticed any real difference in me yet other than a lack of ability to say anything, or for that matter, do anything.
The weekend has just been one long trip of taking meds for my leg/back which has come back with a vengeance, so I've been doping myself up in the hopes of sleeping it off. So another...
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Can't say I've noticed any real difference in me yet other than a lack of ability to say anything, or for that matter, do anything.
The weekend has just been one long trip of taking meds for my leg/back which has come back with a vengeance, so I've been doping myself up in the hopes of sleeping it off. So another...
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Mr sensible head
Spent the day suffering from the drowsiness of the medications; had to give up watching rugby, I was again nodding off severely. So, by the time that had finished, I was ready for bed... not sure if it was between 8-9 or 9-10, all I know is that it was very early, very cold and since I have no life and being...
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Spent the day suffering from the drowsiness of the medications; had to give up watching rugby, I was again nodding off severely. So, by the time that had finished, I was ready for bed... not sure if it was between 8-9 or 9-10, all I know is that it was very early, very cold and since I have no life and being...
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Ambivalence & going down again
That NDD nonsense got to me in the end. Violated their terms & conditions, which as we all know means you get shut down when you piss off admin for saying something out of line or break rules of conduct. Since no one offered any input as to what it was I'd said, I'm none the wiser, only feel persecuted,...
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That NDD nonsense got to me in the end. Violated their terms & conditions, which as we all know means you get shut down when you piss off admin for saying something out of line or break rules of conduct. Since no one offered any input as to what it was I'd said, I'm none the wiser, only feel persecuted,...
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fenstar:
I'm gonna say it to you only once, suicide is not the way, it's cowardly, and that's saying it from someone who has been tempted by it. The world is full of amazing things, you just have to find them.