Update timebefore I dream
Last week, it was my turn to read some of my work in my creative writing class. I got a lot of good commentswhich helped a lot of my writing woes from earlier in that week.
I read the latest draft of the prologue to my epic poem. Im the only grad student in the class (its just a time filler until I finish my thesis) so Im kind of a big fish in a little pond, but the students did have some great comments and suggestions (not just its bad or its good). They all seemed very impressed. I got comments regarding:
-The unbroken chain of repetition of sound from start to end. (Im really glad this was noticed as Id worked hard to create it.)
-A lot of them agreed that they felt the emotions in the piece and that a lot of writers did not do that for them (cha-ching!!!).
-One girl kept her mouth closed the whole time. Finally, prompted to speak, she said that she didnt want to sound rude or negative (uhoh.I thought)and then proceeded to talk about how the piece disturbed herthat it was really well written and it disturbed her and she probably would be thinking about it that night and maybe loose sleep. I dont know why she thought shed sound rude. Her description of everything indicated that all the effects I wanted the prologue to have on a reader (I try to be very conscious of pacing and effect) seemed to work (you just never know until you read it to an audience). Yay! Disturbing is the effect I wanted. Its not a happy scene.
-They noticed, and enjoyed, the importance of the colors used. Particularly black, white, gray, and red.
-They seemed to like that the thing that came to save the little girl was a grey, broken winged spiritrather than a glowing white, pure angel.
-Dude, you are deepDEEEEEEEEEEP. Not the most in depth comment I gotbut every ego boost helps.
-The best comment I got, was from a girl who said that in fiction, and even in first hand accounts of child abuse (the prologue is about a little girl who is hiding in bed, with the bump-scrape sound of her abusive, molesting father coming up the stairs) she always felt sympathy and horrorbut she never felt the emotions directly, as if she was therebut, she said, she felt like she was there, real time, with that little girl (or as the little girl during the story). THAT is what I thought I was overshooting for when I thought of the prologue all those months ago. I thought I wanted the reader to see from that height and feel claustrophobic and trapped and feel the ominous bump-scrape sounds coming up the steps. Im very happy. I also realized that, should my fiction get sold and publishedpeople are going to assume that I had a really bad childhood.
After all the glowing comments and after class, I opted to float back to my room rather than walk
Later, I realized that, in my opening chapter, the broken winged spirit goes through a red door and PAINTs IT BLACK. In the second chapter, that same sorry, fallen angel KNOCKS ON HEAVENS DOOR (in a dark and sad sort of way). And, in a later, interlude chapter, I try and incite a bit of SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL. And yesmusic playlists affect fiction
Friday I got to see my brother get knifed to death on stage for a production of Wait Until Dark. I also finally got my sword on Friday!!! Now I can actually practice all those things I learned in stage combat class.
Friday night, I and some Eureka friends (fellow alums and current students) partiedand somewhere along the way, a perverse revel spirit possessed the party and it became a topless party. We still dont know just what happened. All the sudden, one of the girls took off her shirtthe rest soon followedthen they demanded all the guys remove their shirts. We did. I opted to loose the shirt, but keep the tattered black suite-jacket-thing I had with me thatalong with a girl stealing my hat and letting my hair in my face, I was told I had a good rockstar/Jim Morrison look accomplished. Then, there were mock lap dances, followed by the guys handing out singlesbut then that somehow warped into the girls passing the singles (in various, creative ways) to various places on other girls, with their mouthsand then both genders got involved in the swapping and I found a stranger retrieving bills from my mouth with her tongue (and happilyshe had a habit of leaving her tongue there long after the bill was nabbed). And then . . . well . . . imaginations are fertile fields.
I dont know what manifested, Dionysian shade granted this partybut I surely thank him.
One of the shirtless girls: I may not have the biggest breasts herebut Ive got the sexiest tummylook at this six pack! [shows off her chest and tummy]
Me: [reaching out] Did I ever tell you I can read Braille?
On Saturday the friend of mine who had gotten me to visit and go to the Civil War era dancing lessons told me so show up at the actual dance. I didnt really have a Civil War era costume on me (but I did have a top hat in the trunk)so I made due (with top hat and the tattered coat mentioned above). One of the old women, civil war buffs started talking to me:
Old Woman: Ohand where did you get that coat?
Me: Hot Topic.
Old Woman: Ohis that a costume store?
Me: not ecactly
They said I did really well with the danceswhich is funny because Id only made part of one of the practices and knew only half of the dances we did. But I learned, some time ago, that if you step with a lot of confidence and a smidgen of gracepeople will assume you know what youre doing.
Theres morebut Im exhaustedit was a long and fun weekend
...I got a sword...
Last week, it was my turn to read some of my work in my creative writing class. I got a lot of good commentswhich helped a lot of my writing woes from earlier in that week.
I read the latest draft of the prologue to my epic poem. Im the only grad student in the class (its just a time filler until I finish my thesis) so Im kind of a big fish in a little pond, but the students did have some great comments and suggestions (not just its bad or its good). They all seemed very impressed. I got comments regarding:
-The unbroken chain of repetition of sound from start to end. (Im really glad this was noticed as Id worked hard to create it.)
-A lot of them agreed that they felt the emotions in the piece and that a lot of writers did not do that for them (cha-ching!!!).
-One girl kept her mouth closed the whole time. Finally, prompted to speak, she said that she didnt want to sound rude or negative (uhoh.I thought)and then proceeded to talk about how the piece disturbed herthat it was really well written and it disturbed her and she probably would be thinking about it that night and maybe loose sleep. I dont know why she thought shed sound rude. Her description of everything indicated that all the effects I wanted the prologue to have on a reader (I try to be very conscious of pacing and effect) seemed to work (you just never know until you read it to an audience). Yay! Disturbing is the effect I wanted. Its not a happy scene.
-They noticed, and enjoyed, the importance of the colors used. Particularly black, white, gray, and red.
-They seemed to like that the thing that came to save the little girl was a grey, broken winged spiritrather than a glowing white, pure angel.
-Dude, you are deepDEEEEEEEEEEP. Not the most in depth comment I gotbut every ego boost helps.
-The best comment I got, was from a girl who said that in fiction, and even in first hand accounts of child abuse (the prologue is about a little girl who is hiding in bed, with the bump-scrape sound of her abusive, molesting father coming up the stairs) she always felt sympathy and horrorbut she never felt the emotions directly, as if she was therebut, she said, she felt like she was there, real time, with that little girl (or as the little girl during the story). THAT is what I thought I was overshooting for when I thought of the prologue all those months ago. I thought I wanted the reader to see from that height and feel claustrophobic and trapped and feel the ominous bump-scrape sounds coming up the steps. Im very happy. I also realized that, should my fiction get sold and publishedpeople are going to assume that I had a really bad childhood.
After all the glowing comments and after class, I opted to float back to my room rather than walk
Later, I realized that, in my opening chapter, the broken winged spirit goes through a red door and PAINTs IT BLACK. In the second chapter, that same sorry, fallen angel KNOCKS ON HEAVENS DOOR (in a dark and sad sort of way). And, in a later, interlude chapter, I try and incite a bit of SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL. And yesmusic playlists affect fiction
Friday I got to see my brother get knifed to death on stage for a production of Wait Until Dark. I also finally got my sword on Friday!!! Now I can actually practice all those things I learned in stage combat class.
Friday night, I and some Eureka friends (fellow alums and current students) partiedand somewhere along the way, a perverse revel spirit possessed the party and it became a topless party. We still dont know just what happened. All the sudden, one of the girls took off her shirtthe rest soon followedthen they demanded all the guys remove their shirts. We did. I opted to loose the shirt, but keep the tattered black suite-jacket-thing I had with me thatalong with a girl stealing my hat and letting my hair in my face, I was told I had a good rockstar/Jim Morrison look accomplished. Then, there were mock lap dances, followed by the guys handing out singlesbut then that somehow warped into the girls passing the singles (in various, creative ways) to various places on other girls, with their mouthsand then both genders got involved in the swapping and I found a stranger retrieving bills from my mouth with her tongue (and happilyshe had a habit of leaving her tongue there long after the bill was nabbed). And then . . . well . . . imaginations are fertile fields.
I dont know what manifested, Dionysian shade granted this partybut I surely thank him.
One of the shirtless girls: I may not have the biggest breasts herebut Ive got the sexiest tummylook at this six pack! [shows off her chest and tummy]
Me: [reaching out] Did I ever tell you I can read Braille?
On Saturday the friend of mine who had gotten me to visit and go to the Civil War era dancing lessons told me so show up at the actual dance. I didnt really have a Civil War era costume on me (but I did have a top hat in the trunk)so I made due (with top hat and the tattered coat mentioned above). One of the old women, civil war buffs started talking to me:
Old Woman: Ohand where did you get that coat?
Me: Hot Topic.
Old Woman: Ohis that a costume store?
Me: not ecactly
They said I did really well with the danceswhich is funny because Id only made part of one of the practices and knew only half of the dances we did. But I learned, some time ago, that if you step with a lot of confidence and a smidgen of gracepeople will assume you know what youre doing.
Theres morebut Im exhaustedit was a long and fun weekend
...I got a sword...
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
congratulations on the great comments about your writing!
and the braille comment.... CLASSIC.