I, ZOMBIE
Nothing broken
No foul
Nothing lostexcept a bit of time.
No foul
Why am I still tense then?
So I swam, against current, through a river of shit this week, struggling against the sluggish-sucky-stinking-slimy slick of this schools heavy inertiad bureaucracy, and had to leap a mighty feces fall, the climax of BS, today.
The easier thing about Eureka (and everyone complains about the bureaucracy of their school) is that no matter how disorganized the system wasthere were only so many places the buck could get passed, only so far it could go, only so much rope to hang
Yeah.
But this place, larger than Eureka and part of a larger family of schools, has uncharted wastelands, copious vacuums for the happy little buck to dance and frolick and shit on your parade.
Finding ANYTHING out (like why your account is frozen and you cant sign up for classes) takes a minimum of five offices and a week. No one has the answer. Every one has a piece of an answer and you kind of have to put it all together archeological training without the degree.
You have to take this exit exam so you know about paying back loansyou have to fill out this I-understand-the-laws-of-gravity safety sheet by Student Life (so you cant sue them for forgetting that you cant leap off of roofs and bounce to safety). Then you have to read the "Gravity-Safety-Brochure, to make sure that you indeed do understand that you can't jump of off roofs and bounce ot safety. And its safety this and monitor that and wouldnt you know if Im snuggled safely in a blankey of forms and brochures.
Never mind the paper cuts kid.
I have imaginary friends I still keep aroundto brutally murder (thus keeping real folk safe), for just such maddening situations.
Then, today, I had to take my computer in (the whole tower). This year, the school requires anyone who wants to hook up to the net, to put all this safe guarded, squeaky clean network software on our computers (so they can limit our activities and keep track of what we do online).
That, right there, disagrees with my stomach. But I go in. Hours later the stuff is finally on my computer. Im still not fully unpacked, still dont have all my classes figured out and I have to do this. I get back to my room. I log on the network (like Id do on one of the library or lab computers) and Im on as my school network accountonlylike the lab/library computers, I dont have access to MY programs/games/files/music.
Wheres my shit?
Wheres all the writing Ive ever committed to computer?
WHERE, for the love of monkeys, is my THESIS?!?
ARGH!!!!!!! !@@!#!@#!@#!@#!@#
I tried logging off and turning my computer back onbut there was no getting on the old wayI had to log on under a name. This computer wasnt originally mineI didnt know if it used to have a password or what the name was or if Id changed it when Id gotten it a few weeks ago. The program also slowed my computer way, way down, freezing it for half minute intervals constantly, slowing my investigation, trying to stop me.
They took my computer away from me.
OKno prob. I went to System Restore, to bring my computer back to a time before the devil network, erase the beast. Thenthe computer does a funny thing. It tells me I am not authorized to commit this act, that I should speak to an administrator. Im not authorized to use my own F*&%ing computer!
And wheres my thesis?
The computer gave me no answersas it wasnt really mine anymore.
Thats when I typed the post that was originally going to go on my journal today. It consisted mostly of swear words, invented swear words, curses, something about wishing the children of the programmers and administrators would eat their wombs, and other bits of hateful creativity. At some point I pausedandrather than finish and send it, opted to throw an object across my room and into a wall, and take a walk (several times) around campus.
I came back and, after much trial and error, found a way to get on my computer and erase all traces of the evil network. Its gone. Im not putting it back. Maybe theyll shut the internet in my room off, but Ill cross that bridge when I get to it (and any tech trolls living under said bridge better watch the fuck out).
Bah. I didnt realize how wound tight this week has made me until today. Anger usually passes over me pretty quickly rain off of glass. But its still nestled and chirping in all my extremities. I dont want to get off on a righteous, rebellious rantbut this is no good. People give up freedoms for the appearance of safety. They want control of my computer? My workstation? My plasma filled cauldron of word witchery? Fuck that. They can pry my keyboard from my cold, dead hands and I swear to Plato, Cerberus, and all the shades of Limbo, that Ill find a way back into my body so I can smash them over the head with said key boardand then theyll have a keyboard wielding zombie on their hands and what are they going to do
Im going to try and sleep now.
Nothing broken
No foul
Nothing lostexcept a bit of time.
No foul
Why am I still tense then?
So I swam, against current, through a river of shit this week, struggling against the sluggish-sucky-stinking-slimy slick of this schools heavy inertiad bureaucracy, and had to leap a mighty feces fall, the climax of BS, today.
The easier thing about Eureka (and everyone complains about the bureaucracy of their school) is that no matter how disorganized the system wasthere were only so many places the buck could get passed, only so far it could go, only so much rope to hang
Yeah.
But this place, larger than Eureka and part of a larger family of schools, has uncharted wastelands, copious vacuums for the happy little buck to dance and frolick and shit on your parade.
Finding ANYTHING out (like why your account is frozen and you cant sign up for classes) takes a minimum of five offices and a week. No one has the answer. Every one has a piece of an answer and you kind of have to put it all together archeological training without the degree.
You have to take this exit exam so you know about paying back loansyou have to fill out this I-understand-the-laws-of-gravity safety sheet by Student Life (so you cant sue them for forgetting that you cant leap off of roofs and bounce to safety). Then you have to read the "Gravity-Safety-Brochure, to make sure that you indeed do understand that you can't jump of off roofs and bounce ot safety. And its safety this and monitor that and wouldnt you know if Im snuggled safely in a blankey of forms and brochures.
Never mind the paper cuts kid.
I have imaginary friends I still keep aroundto brutally murder (thus keeping real folk safe), for just such maddening situations.
Then, today, I had to take my computer in (the whole tower). This year, the school requires anyone who wants to hook up to the net, to put all this safe guarded, squeaky clean network software on our computers (so they can limit our activities and keep track of what we do online).
That, right there, disagrees with my stomach. But I go in. Hours later the stuff is finally on my computer. Im still not fully unpacked, still dont have all my classes figured out and I have to do this. I get back to my room. I log on the network (like Id do on one of the library or lab computers) and Im on as my school network accountonlylike the lab/library computers, I dont have access to MY programs/games/files/music.
Wheres my shit?
Wheres all the writing Ive ever committed to computer?
WHERE, for the love of monkeys, is my THESIS?!?
ARGH!!!!!!! !@@!#!@#!@#!@#!@#
I tried logging off and turning my computer back onbut there was no getting on the old wayI had to log on under a name. This computer wasnt originally mineI didnt know if it used to have a password or what the name was or if Id changed it when Id gotten it a few weeks ago. The program also slowed my computer way, way down, freezing it for half minute intervals constantly, slowing my investigation, trying to stop me.
They took my computer away from me.
OKno prob. I went to System Restore, to bring my computer back to a time before the devil network, erase the beast. Thenthe computer does a funny thing. It tells me I am not authorized to commit this act, that I should speak to an administrator. Im not authorized to use my own F*&%ing computer!
And wheres my thesis?
The computer gave me no answersas it wasnt really mine anymore.
Thats when I typed the post that was originally going to go on my journal today. It consisted mostly of swear words, invented swear words, curses, something about wishing the children of the programmers and administrators would eat their wombs, and other bits of hateful creativity. At some point I pausedandrather than finish and send it, opted to throw an object across my room and into a wall, and take a walk (several times) around campus.
I came back and, after much trial and error, found a way to get on my computer and erase all traces of the evil network. Its gone. Im not putting it back. Maybe theyll shut the internet in my room off, but Ill cross that bridge when I get to it (and any tech trolls living under said bridge better watch the fuck out).
Bah. I didnt realize how wound tight this week has made me until today. Anger usually passes over me pretty quickly rain off of glass. But its still nestled and chirping in all my extremities. I dont want to get off on a righteous, rebellious rantbut this is no good. People give up freedoms for the appearance of safety. They want control of my computer? My workstation? My plasma filled cauldron of word witchery? Fuck that. They can pry my keyboard from my cold, dead hands and I swear to Plato, Cerberus, and all the shades of Limbo, that Ill find a way back into my body so I can smash them over the head with said key boardand then theyll have a keyboard wielding zombie on their hands and what are they going to do
Im going to try and sleep now.
BTW, you list White Stripes in your favs, so as much as I'd like to admitting to stalking you or having psychic powers... well, f*ck it, I'm stalking you AND have psychic powers!
ps: Where do you bury the bodies of the imaginary friends? Come clean: you really moved because you ran out of imaginary holes in the dirt basement, ala Gacy, to hide the carcasses. LOL
[Edited on Aug 28, 2005 11:25AM]
[Edited on Aug 28, 2005 11:26AM]