So I'm of mixed feelings today. I have been for the past couple of days, as a matter of fact.
On the one hand, I'm inordinately proud of "my fellow Americans." You, as a whole, have shown the Bush administration that it's time for change, and exercised the right to do something about it - we (the Democratic Party) have swept the House and Senate, and now have the majority of governors in the US. That makes me happy - we are in far over our heads in many areas of the political arena, and it's time the Democrats had the opportunity to fix the problems. We have the first woman Speaker of the House ever, and she looks to be the focus for the forces of change. That makes me happy.
I hope that having a more reasonable House and Senate will temper the flawed steel of our current policies, both foreign and domestic.
On the other hand, I'm very sad that the state of Virginia, along with several others, have actually legislated intolerance and discrimination into their constitutions. While we have won the war, for now, we certainly have lost that battle. I held on to the hope that reasonable people would read the whole amendment presented to them and realize that it's not just about same-sex marriages. When a woman is beaten by her boyfriend to within an inch of her life, and the courts can only legally consider it assault & battery, it will break my heart just a little more... To know that this can hinder domestic violence laws, void any contracts judged to be "approximating marriage" (including, but not limited to hospital visitation and wills), and legally discriminate against people, it honestly hurts me that there are enough people to make it happen.
It seems as though the sexist and bigoted "majority" vote hasn't died - they've simply found a target other than women or ethnic minorities to pick on - the last bastion, I fervently hope, of intolerance.
It's over... for the next couple of years, at least.
Now on a more personal note... In the space of about an hour a couple of days ago, I was called both racist and sexist.
Yup, me.
I can look back now to a degree and laugh, but it's a troubling state of affairs when something like that can be accused of just anyone. Myself, in particular.
I was taking my roommate's rent check to the bank, and then going to the Treasurer's office to pay the water bill. As a left the bank, a young black male, maybe 16 or so, approached me, to solicit donations for his supposed basketball team.
This kid was more than a little disheveled - he looked like he had rolled out of a dumpster, in fact. The "sign-up sheet" he was holding could easily have been drawn by a 10 year old, and was crumpled as though having been pulled from the dumpster along with him. He approached me as I was leaving, asking, "Would you like to help support my basketball team..."
I didn't let him finish his spiel. For the record, I don't support anyone's basketball team. I don't support football teams, or cheerleader squads (there's a joke there somewhere) or the Boy Scouts of America.
I despise active propositioning or solicitation.
Set up your signs, over away from the exit doors, and let people come to you. I absolutely will not give to people or organizations that make some attempt into "holding the door" so they can be right up next to you, invading your personal space, as they try to convince you to part with hard-earned money for their sake.
In the case of school sports teams - that's what parents and taxes are for. In the case of the Scouts or some other affiliation, they need to stop harassing people. More to the point, they need to stop using children as guilt-inducing means to make their money. I'm not paying someone who runs a hate group. Teaching "Good Christian" morals to children, in my opinion, is cultivating a hate group. Most especially after the various scandals and intolerant attitudes of the leadership of the Scouts, evident in their policies.
At any rate, I interrupted this kid and told him (as politely as I could muster) that no, I did not want to support his team. As I continued on my way to the car, he asked, "It's 'cause I'm black, ain't it?"
You know in the movies, when someone says something stupid and the whole party screeches to a halt? That "needle scratching off record" sound? That's what went through my mind. I actually turned around, looked the kid in the eye, and told him, "Nope, that doesn't have a thing to do with it." I'm not sure why I felt it necessary to say that, only that I couldn't let that pass. By looking him in the eye, I hoped that he understood that begging is demeaning, no matter what color you are, and that skin color or ethnicity shouldn't be used as a crutch. I hope that he understood he was doing his people, his ethnic brothers and sisters, a grave disservice by standing there begging to begin with, using his color as a means of blaming others, of enciting their sympathy.
Yes - I realize that it was probably a waste of my time. Too many people today are looking for someone else to blame for their problems. Too many children are raised believing that they too could be millionaires, if it weren't for (take your pick on some version of) "the man." Did this kid know better?
Maybe.
At any rate, after replying, I got almost to the car when I hear him mutter (in a voice loud enough to be appropriate at a club) "Yeah, right... Fucking racist."
Ever have one of those moments where you figure out how to get away with something you normally wouldn't consider? Murder, robbery, ripping a kid's mouth off? That flash of anger didn't last long (it seldom does, anymore) but I held on to it for a few minutes, relished in it. There are no bad emotions, only bad actions stemming from the darker spectrum of emotion. Emotions that need to be held, nutured, and released. It's really the only healthy way of managing.
It took a very real, very intentional act of control on my part to just get in the car and drive away. But I did, and now I'm just a little sad that it happened at all.
And the sexist thing? An older woman, sick and in a bad mood, at the Treasurer's office, felt, I guess, that I was wasting her time, trying to figure out why I owed them $200. Now, I suppose to some people reading this, that's not all that large a sum of money... But to me, $200 is a rather hefty chunk of change.
I didn't bring the letter the Treasurer's office sent me, and apparently wanting to talk to her boss makes me sexist... As it turns out, the Virginia Beach City administrative department doesn't really keep computer records... Sure, they can look you up, but if the Assistant Treasurer sends you a letter, they may not have any record of it - at all.
Even when you have a point of contact and a dollar amount.
And, if that point of contact is a man, and you want to speak with that person, you are a sexist. It wasn't exactly said, but I'm pretty good at picking up subtleties. When the woman looks at one of her colleagues and says, "He's one of those..." with a roll of her eyes, it shouldn't be hard to figure out.
At any rate, this post has run far longer than I expected it to, so I'm just going to wrap it up by saying that I love you all.
Everyone. It's hard, frequently, but I do. My friends, my enemies. My cats and dogs, snakes, rats, and fish. You, and your friends. Heather especially. And your enemies. It's a hard thing to understand for some. I don't throw that word around a lot - love - and I don't expect to start soon, but from this point, let it be known that I may not like you much - in fact, your voice may trigger my suicidal instinct - but I do love you.
And to those of you I really do like, (as well as love) you're what keeps me sane.
Thanks.
On the one hand, I'm inordinately proud of "my fellow Americans." You, as a whole, have shown the Bush administration that it's time for change, and exercised the right to do something about it - we (the Democratic Party) have swept the House and Senate, and now have the majority of governors in the US. That makes me happy - we are in far over our heads in many areas of the political arena, and it's time the Democrats had the opportunity to fix the problems. We have the first woman Speaker of the House ever, and she looks to be the focus for the forces of change. That makes me happy.
I hope that having a more reasonable House and Senate will temper the flawed steel of our current policies, both foreign and domestic.
On the other hand, I'm very sad that the state of Virginia, along with several others, have actually legislated intolerance and discrimination into their constitutions. While we have won the war, for now, we certainly have lost that battle. I held on to the hope that reasonable people would read the whole amendment presented to them and realize that it's not just about same-sex marriages. When a woman is beaten by her boyfriend to within an inch of her life, and the courts can only legally consider it assault & battery, it will break my heart just a little more... To know that this can hinder domestic violence laws, void any contracts judged to be "approximating marriage" (including, but not limited to hospital visitation and wills), and legally discriminate against people, it honestly hurts me that there are enough people to make it happen.
It seems as though the sexist and bigoted "majority" vote hasn't died - they've simply found a target other than women or ethnic minorities to pick on - the last bastion, I fervently hope, of intolerance.
It's over... for the next couple of years, at least.
Now on a more personal note... In the space of about an hour a couple of days ago, I was called both racist and sexist.
Yup, me.
I can look back now to a degree and laugh, but it's a troubling state of affairs when something like that can be accused of just anyone. Myself, in particular.
I was taking my roommate's rent check to the bank, and then going to the Treasurer's office to pay the water bill. As a left the bank, a young black male, maybe 16 or so, approached me, to solicit donations for his supposed basketball team.
This kid was more than a little disheveled - he looked like he had rolled out of a dumpster, in fact. The "sign-up sheet" he was holding could easily have been drawn by a 10 year old, and was crumpled as though having been pulled from the dumpster along with him. He approached me as I was leaving, asking, "Would you like to help support my basketball team..."
I didn't let him finish his spiel. For the record, I don't support anyone's basketball team. I don't support football teams, or cheerleader squads (there's a joke there somewhere) or the Boy Scouts of America.
I despise active propositioning or solicitation.
Set up your signs, over away from the exit doors, and let people come to you. I absolutely will not give to people or organizations that make some attempt into "holding the door" so they can be right up next to you, invading your personal space, as they try to convince you to part with hard-earned money for their sake.
In the case of school sports teams - that's what parents and taxes are for. In the case of the Scouts or some other affiliation, they need to stop harassing people. More to the point, they need to stop using children as guilt-inducing means to make their money. I'm not paying someone who runs a hate group. Teaching "Good Christian" morals to children, in my opinion, is cultivating a hate group. Most especially after the various scandals and intolerant attitudes of the leadership of the Scouts, evident in their policies.
At any rate, I interrupted this kid and told him (as politely as I could muster) that no, I did not want to support his team. As I continued on my way to the car, he asked, "It's 'cause I'm black, ain't it?"
You know in the movies, when someone says something stupid and the whole party screeches to a halt? That "needle scratching off record" sound? That's what went through my mind. I actually turned around, looked the kid in the eye, and told him, "Nope, that doesn't have a thing to do with it." I'm not sure why I felt it necessary to say that, only that I couldn't let that pass. By looking him in the eye, I hoped that he understood that begging is demeaning, no matter what color you are, and that skin color or ethnicity shouldn't be used as a crutch. I hope that he understood he was doing his people, his ethnic brothers and sisters, a grave disservice by standing there begging to begin with, using his color as a means of blaming others, of enciting their sympathy.
Yes - I realize that it was probably a waste of my time. Too many people today are looking for someone else to blame for their problems. Too many children are raised believing that they too could be millionaires, if it weren't for (take your pick on some version of) "the man." Did this kid know better?
Maybe.
At any rate, after replying, I got almost to the car when I hear him mutter (in a voice loud enough to be appropriate at a club) "Yeah, right... Fucking racist."
Ever have one of those moments where you figure out how to get away with something you normally wouldn't consider? Murder, robbery, ripping a kid's mouth off? That flash of anger didn't last long (it seldom does, anymore) but I held on to it for a few minutes, relished in it. There are no bad emotions, only bad actions stemming from the darker spectrum of emotion. Emotions that need to be held, nutured, and released. It's really the only healthy way of managing.
It took a very real, very intentional act of control on my part to just get in the car and drive away. But I did, and now I'm just a little sad that it happened at all.
And the sexist thing? An older woman, sick and in a bad mood, at the Treasurer's office, felt, I guess, that I was wasting her time, trying to figure out why I owed them $200. Now, I suppose to some people reading this, that's not all that large a sum of money... But to me, $200 is a rather hefty chunk of change.
I didn't bring the letter the Treasurer's office sent me, and apparently wanting to talk to her boss makes me sexist... As it turns out, the Virginia Beach City administrative department doesn't really keep computer records... Sure, they can look you up, but if the Assistant Treasurer sends you a letter, they may not have any record of it - at all.
Even when you have a point of contact and a dollar amount.
And, if that point of contact is a man, and you want to speak with that person, you are a sexist. It wasn't exactly said, but I'm pretty good at picking up subtleties. When the woman looks at one of her colleagues and says, "He's one of those..." with a roll of her eyes, it shouldn't be hard to figure out.
At any rate, this post has run far longer than I expected it to, so I'm just going to wrap it up by saying that I love you all.
Everyone. It's hard, frequently, but I do. My friends, my enemies. My cats and dogs, snakes, rats, and fish. You, and your friends. Heather especially. And your enemies. It's a hard thing to understand for some. I don't throw that word around a lot - love - and I don't expect to start soon, but from this point, let it be known that I may not like you much - in fact, your voice may trigger my suicidal instinct - but I do love you.
And to those of you I really do like, (as well as love) you're what keeps me sane.
Thanks.