Why is Paramount disappointing me?! It seems like everything that I grew up with as a child and cherish is turned into something pop-cultured and retarded!! Paramount Pictures has disappointed me twice within one week!!
First off, the other day, I went and saw the 4th Indiana Jones movie, and let me just say, I'm glad that I went on half-price Tuesdays. SPOILERS! stop reading! Continue at the dotted line!!
Now, before you get me wrong here, I'm really glad that they followed the original ideal of the traditional Indiana Jones, and they didn't try to pop-culture it up with modern day explosions or effects. I tip my hat to Mr. Spielberg & Mr. Lucas for keeping the theme alive and well. I was raised on these movies. The first movie came out when my parents first got married, the second movie came out while my parents made attempts to have me, and the third movie came out when I was alive and well. The fourth movie has now come to theaters and I didn't feel out of place at all being one of the youngest people there during the opening week. I was excited, anxious and nervous sitting in the theater eating my smuggled non-theater food.
I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED!! ALIENS?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?! The KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL was formed by 13 magical aliens?! What the fuck?! Okay Mr. Lucas, I understand that the last Star Wars movie was a complete and utter failure, but just because Mr. Spielberg wants to make a new movie, doesn't mean that you need to include your little space-fetish into it as well!
Fucker.
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On to the second disappointment, today I went to Canada's Wonderland. Please note that I indeed did say Canada's Wonderland...NOT PARAMOUNT Canada's Wonderland. Turns out that Paramount sold it to someone else. (Probably because they just wasted a huge budget on a stupid INDIANA JONES MOVIE!!) Which in itself doesn't sound too bad, but the reason that it was called PARAMOUNT Canada's Wonderland was because it had rides that were based off of Paramount movies. So the classic rides such as Top Gun, Tomb Raider, and the Italian Job...all now have stupid retarded names like "Flight Deck", "Time Warp" and "Back-lot Stunt Car".
The "Back-lot Stunt Car" AKA Italian Job ride was boring now that they had to take out the scene where the helicopter fires at the cars...which if you've ever seen the movie or been on the ride, you'll know that its an important scene in the movie and a good 20second scene that takes place during the ride. The biggest disappointment had to be Top Gun. Again, with my Dad being the pilot and aviation buff that he is, I grew up thinking that all F-14 fighter pilots are as hot as Young-Sane Mr. Cruse, and that Maverick was the coolest nickname I ever got as a kid. While you waited in line for the ride, you could watch clips from the making of Top Gun and listen to the glorious theme song and Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone". Now...you just wait in line. It's all gone and it's very sad.
That's my rant for the day...sorry guys. I needed to type it somewhere. Moral of the story, Mr. Lucas is a prick, and Paramount can shove it up their ass.
First off, the other day, I went and saw the 4th Indiana Jones movie, and let me just say, I'm glad that I went on half-price Tuesdays. SPOILERS! stop reading! Continue at the dotted line!!
Now, before you get me wrong here, I'm really glad that they followed the original ideal of the traditional Indiana Jones, and they didn't try to pop-culture it up with modern day explosions or effects. I tip my hat to Mr. Spielberg & Mr. Lucas for keeping the theme alive and well. I was raised on these movies. The first movie came out when my parents first got married, the second movie came out while my parents made attempts to have me, and the third movie came out when I was alive and well. The fourth movie has now come to theaters and I didn't feel out of place at all being one of the youngest people there during the opening week. I was excited, anxious and nervous sitting in the theater eating my smuggled non-theater food.
I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED!! ALIENS?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?! The KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL was formed by 13 magical aliens?! What the fuck?! Okay Mr. Lucas, I understand that the last Star Wars movie was a complete and utter failure, but just because Mr. Spielberg wants to make a new movie, doesn't mean that you need to include your little space-fetish into it as well!
Fucker.
*****************************************************************************
On to the second disappointment, today I went to Canada's Wonderland. Please note that I indeed did say Canada's Wonderland...NOT PARAMOUNT Canada's Wonderland. Turns out that Paramount sold it to someone else. (Probably because they just wasted a huge budget on a stupid INDIANA JONES MOVIE!!) Which in itself doesn't sound too bad, but the reason that it was called PARAMOUNT Canada's Wonderland was because it had rides that were based off of Paramount movies. So the classic rides such as Top Gun, Tomb Raider, and the Italian Job...all now have stupid retarded names like "Flight Deck", "Time Warp" and "Back-lot Stunt Car".
The "Back-lot Stunt Car" AKA Italian Job ride was boring now that they had to take out the scene where the helicopter fires at the cars...which if you've ever seen the movie or been on the ride, you'll know that its an important scene in the movie and a good 20second scene that takes place during the ride. The biggest disappointment had to be Top Gun. Again, with my Dad being the pilot and aviation buff that he is, I grew up thinking that all F-14 fighter pilots are as hot as Young-Sane Mr. Cruse, and that Maverick was the coolest nickname I ever got as a kid. While you waited in line for the ride, you could watch clips from the making of Top Gun and listen to the glorious theme song and Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone". Now...you just wait in line. It's all gone and it's very sad.
That's my rant for the day...sorry guys. I needed to type it somewhere. Moral of the story, Mr. Lucas is a prick, and Paramount can shove it up their ass.