nerwen

I have a new set in my queue that will be released by Star Wars Day. Also my new set will be uploaded to the site today. I have another set waiting in line for retouching. And I also will shoot another one set so that there are no gaps in the downloads and, perhaps, that's it.

My sets are not SOTD for a long time. My last SOTD was a year ago.

All my friends models have gone in other countries, so I don't have anyone else to collaborate with.

In Russia, there are no spare parts for the full maintenance of aircraft. And flying on a plane assembled in Russia is suicide lol. If I choose a travel by train I'll have to be in a road for several days. It is too long.

Studio rent + apartments + tickets + taxi + outfits + cosmetics + time spent. And I almost completely lost the understanding of the justification of the expended resources. My explicit photos are removed from the sets, while other models I see have even more explicit content in sets and on their pages.

I feel like an outsider who is not appreciated and respected, whose efforts are never justified. I have devoted more than 5 years to the site and have put a lot of effort into the development of both my personal brand and the site. I always point out site rule breakers and try to be involved in keeping the site clean.

It hurts me a lot to admit it, but while I was trying to maintain the image of the canonical SG model, models with a natural appearance, with the purest bodies, have come into fashion and sometimes it seems that alt models are already leading nowhere.

I'm in a bad mental state since this fucking war started. Because of certain anchors, I am stuck in a dead end and cannot leave this damn country. OnlyFans has frozen my money and has been brain-fucking me for almost 2 months as I go deeper and deeper into debt from having to pay for my dog's very expensive medical treatment, my treatment and my apartment rent.

It seems to be getting worse as the day goes on. My last set is totally fucked up just like the new one. I spent about $1K on that trip.

I really love the community, but disappointment breaks my heart. Given my BPD, this is taken especially acutely and every time it drives me into more and more sadness.

But I must take care of myself and follow the path that inspires and makes me happy...

Thank you everyone❤️

@missy @penny @eirenne @rambo @lust