OK, so here I am back and rested from a long week spent traversing the East coast. As you have undoubtedly heard on the evening news, my girlfriend and I went to Tampa, Florida to celebrate her paternal grandparents' 65th wedding anniversary. As such, the entire collection of in-laws was in attendance. As such-er, every waking moment (and there were too many of them for my liking) was spent in some kind of familyrific endeavor.
On Tuesday we went to Busch Gardens. It was fun. Here is an ostrich:
Here I am feeding a giraffe:
On Wednesday we went to Clearwater beach. I'm not much of a beach guy, but I went out of a sense of social obligation. I forgot my sunglasses, but didn't think it was a huge deal when I realized it halfway to the ocean. I was wrong. Upon debarking the car, I was instantly struck blind by the sun reflecting off the sand and water.
When the gang declared that it was into the ocean for us, I followed, but not before applying 2 separate layers of SPF 45. (one rubbed on, and a spray on kind for good measure) After 45 minutes in the salty, so-warm-it-felt-unnatural concoction, we ventured to the snack bar. There we were greeted by expensive greasy food and a guy with a white thong bikini with his money stuck in the strap.
After lunch it was back into the water. I reapplied the sunblock and floated around for an hour or so before the matriarch decided it was time to go. When we got back it became clear that 3 layers of sunblock was not enough, as both my girlfriend and I were red as communists. I was pissed. I reapplied, dammit! I am peeling now, something I haven't done in probably 12 years.
At any rate, we stayed in a special apartment set aside for family and guests within a large "Retirement Community". This was one of the as-seen-on-TV collections of old folks we are told about. As part of the deal we were allowed to eat one meal a day with the resident seniors. It was clear that they do not get many visitors, and the ones that do come probably don't eat in the dining area. My girl and I have divots in the backs of our heads from all the reproving glares.
A strange phenomenon presented itself to this Red Sox fan early on. Despite the local presence of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, almost everyone we saw wearing baseball paraphernalia was declaring allegiance to the New York Yankees. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until our last day there that I saw a single piece of Devil Rays gear on a person. My Aunt & Uncle in law explained that it was because the Yankees have their Spring Training grounds in Tampa - a relationship that predates the Devil Rays by decades. What's more, George Steinbrenner lives 3 doors down from said relations. George notwithstanding, I was sad that nobody was rooting for the home team. I would have gladly gone to a game if they had been in town.
Before leaving, I was all atwitter at the prospect of seeing various reptilian friends not found in New England. The little brown lizards were plentiful and cute, but I'm disappointed to say that my burning desire for an alligator encounter was not sated by the ones we saw at the zoo. "But J***, were those not high quality alligators we gazed upon?" my in-laws would prod. "Yea, verily" I replied, but seeing an alligator in the zoo is not the same as running into one in the wild. It's like saying you saw Brad Pitt - in a movie. Big deal, he lives there.
Because I didn't bring dirty clothes and I was staying with in-laws who haven't had enough time to acclimate themselves to my many delightful quirks, I didn't get a chance to roll in the dirt and chase lizards and frogs. Here's a picture though:
Now as many of you are surely thinking, it was quite hot in Florida in the middle of July. As a matter of fact, it was stupid hot. The odd thing though is that from a certain perspective, it's actually hotter here in New England. You see, everywhere we went in F-L-A had central air conditioning built in. Other than expensive and/or newly built homes, I don't see much of that here. When it gets up into the 90s here, we sweat it out or go to the movies/mall etc. Down there, the only time we felt the heat was going from the house to the car and from the car to whatever destination we had arrived at. My girl had to bring light sweaters with her as she would get chilly from all the ironic make-the-world-hotter AC.
I think I am done writing about Florida for now. When we got back from the airport, we had 2 hours to rest before driving to Boston for a Sox game. Thankfully, they snapped their ridiculous losing streak and beat the Rays 5-2. Here's a picture:
I don't know who that girl on the left is, why she has a black hole over her eyes, or why she has been living with me for years.
Thank you
On Tuesday we went to Busch Gardens. It was fun. Here is an ostrich:
Here I am feeding a giraffe:
On Wednesday we went to Clearwater beach. I'm not much of a beach guy, but I went out of a sense of social obligation. I forgot my sunglasses, but didn't think it was a huge deal when I realized it halfway to the ocean. I was wrong. Upon debarking the car, I was instantly struck blind by the sun reflecting off the sand and water.
When the gang declared that it was into the ocean for us, I followed, but not before applying 2 separate layers of SPF 45. (one rubbed on, and a spray on kind for good measure) After 45 minutes in the salty, so-warm-it-felt-unnatural concoction, we ventured to the snack bar. There we were greeted by expensive greasy food and a guy with a white thong bikini with his money stuck in the strap.
After lunch it was back into the water. I reapplied the sunblock and floated around for an hour or so before the matriarch decided it was time to go. When we got back it became clear that 3 layers of sunblock was not enough, as both my girlfriend and I were red as communists. I was pissed. I reapplied, dammit! I am peeling now, something I haven't done in probably 12 years.
At any rate, we stayed in a special apartment set aside for family and guests within a large "Retirement Community". This was one of the as-seen-on-TV collections of old folks we are told about. As part of the deal we were allowed to eat one meal a day with the resident seniors. It was clear that they do not get many visitors, and the ones that do come probably don't eat in the dining area. My girl and I have divots in the backs of our heads from all the reproving glares.
A strange phenomenon presented itself to this Red Sox fan early on. Despite the local presence of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, almost everyone we saw wearing baseball paraphernalia was declaring allegiance to the New York Yankees. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until our last day there that I saw a single piece of Devil Rays gear on a person. My Aunt & Uncle in law explained that it was because the Yankees have their Spring Training grounds in Tampa - a relationship that predates the Devil Rays by decades. What's more, George Steinbrenner lives 3 doors down from said relations. George notwithstanding, I was sad that nobody was rooting for the home team. I would have gladly gone to a game if they had been in town.
Before leaving, I was all atwitter at the prospect of seeing various reptilian friends not found in New England. The little brown lizards were plentiful and cute, but I'm disappointed to say that my burning desire for an alligator encounter was not sated by the ones we saw at the zoo. "But J***, were those not high quality alligators we gazed upon?" my in-laws would prod. "Yea, verily" I replied, but seeing an alligator in the zoo is not the same as running into one in the wild. It's like saying you saw Brad Pitt - in a movie. Big deal, he lives there.
Because I didn't bring dirty clothes and I was staying with in-laws who haven't had enough time to acclimate themselves to my many delightful quirks, I didn't get a chance to roll in the dirt and chase lizards and frogs. Here's a picture though:
Now as many of you are surely thinking, it was quite hot in Florida in the middle of July. As a matter of fact, it was stupid hot. The odd thing though is that from a certain perspective, it's actually hotter here in New England. You see, everywhere we went in F-L-A had central air conditioning built in. Other than expensive and/or newly built homes, I don't see much of that here. When it gets up into the 90s here, we sweat it out or go to the movies/mall etc. Down there, the only time we felt the heat was going from the house to the car and from the car to whatever destination we had arrived at. My girl had to bring light sweaters with her as she would get chilly from all the ironic make-the-world-hotter AC.
I think I am done writing about Florida for now. When we got back from the airport, we had 2 hours to rest before driving to Boston for a Sox game. Thankfully, they snapped their ridiculous losing streak and beat the Rays 5-2. Here's a picture:
I don't know who that girl on the left is, why she has a black hole over her eyes, or why she has been living with me for years.
Thank you
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Sorry to hear about the burn you got in FL. When I did my little stint in Ft Lauderdale, the first lesson I learned the hard way is that my pale Irish ass needs SPF 200. Squeeze the bottle and a sweater comes out. Lesson two was that no matter how big a Sox fan you are, multiply it by fifty when you go to Florida because every other person is a Yankee fan who will eventually call you on being a Sox fan. I was lucky enough to be surrounded by a bar full of them during the world series... It was great to see how quiet the people who were trash talking the first three games got during that comeback.
In any case, a South Shore tour is sounding pretty rad... We'll paint the town red and it will rule... I'm guessing... I have no clue what there is to do around there. Ok, I'm done rambling. Welcome back.