necrogoat

i think elephants cringe when someone brings up tuscaloosa. like whoa man. don't say that around me. i'm an elephant. that hurts. then you'd feel kind of bad and try to say something nice like "so how about that blue collar tv show? jeff foxworthy is back again and ready to knock you down and rob you of laughter." and the elephant would just trample you. cause thats what elephants do. they are assholes like that. have you ever met a nice elephant? no. not really. they are like the jerks of the animal kingdom. i think a penguin would be nice. like you could hang out with one and it'd just be CHILL! ha! get it? but yeah. the penguin would just like jump off the couch and slide its way to get a beer. and he'd get you one too if you asked him. like "hey man. since you are sliding out to the kitchen, can you grab me a beer? and the penguin would be all like ok. and you'd just say thanks dude. the penguins name would be awesome too. like rockefeller j. heights. man that is a cool name. i bet the penguin could do some awesome shit. like get you a laser gun. like the penguin would just hand it to you. like a predator does after you kill one and shit. but you wouldn't have to kill a penguin to get the laser gun. no. they just hand them shits out like its free. you can probably shoot the fuckin moon. who hasn't wanted to do that? i'm sure a laser could hit a moon. that'd be pretty bad ass. man, penguins are awesome. elephants are stupid. that is what this is all about.