long like a tuna
I think that my trip was too long and too taxing...but just because I was dealing with my family. but new orleans...well its like this weird combo of paris, mexico, and charleston...but with boas and lazy a accents that made me miss the south.
I mean listen to bob wills, he knows what he's talking about...even though I was sad that every place we went had unsweetened ice tea...what is with that?!
Though cafe dumond was hot hot hot, I even got a cool balloon pirate hat there, which popped almost immediatelyand learning how to breathe and eat something completely covered in powdered sugar was AWSOME! I felt like a coke fiend, and that cant ever be a bad thing.
The whole time I was there I was a writing foolbut I think I left my diary at perkins or in someones carso Im not going to be able to write all that I wannaBOO!
So keep a look out for a pink and grey diary with kittens on it!!!
in it you will find my thoughts on hotels with two toilet paper dispensers and drawings I asked vampire hobos to draw and the page that I spilled some delicious bourbon soaked french toast on and the notes I took while getting my fortune told on Jackson square. I sat there for two hours, shivering with the motion of everything and feeling like I was on a ferris wheel and needing to pee. But it was amazing and like a kick in the butt or waltzing and not knowing how.
and how can I forget about the 73 year old man who told me to feel his muscles?
So yeahgood triplong, but nicein two weeks its destination TEXAS!
Right now I'm all sad cause I feel lonely and it's been a week now and no signs of anything cool coming in the mail anytime soon.
I am expecting.
but thank goodness I am not showing.
where are all my ebayin' dino hoes at?! and my c64s?! Well at least I got an early birthday/xmas gift last weekwhich was SUPER FLIPPIN DOLPIHIN CRAZY GREAT!! Jordan surprised me with tickets to see Brian Setzer and people watch and feel special and later we met the bass player at dinner and then I bought tons of old 60s playboys for a dollar a piece and drooled over stereo adds.
The snow is making me feel all Christ-massy and antsy and I didnt do anything I wanted to do today and I have a to do list as big as john wayne's....hate for gay men.
right.
my face hurts. I think I'll go back to sleep, maybe watch a movie with a boy later. it's one of those nights that I wish I had a fire place. it is also one of those nights that I will probably end up staying up until 4 in the morning pretending I am a pirate and that my cats are sharks.
peace. sugar lips.
I think that my trip was too long and too taxing...but just because I was dealing with my family. but new orleans...well its like this weird combo of paris, mexico, and charleston...but with boas and lazy a accents that made me miss the south.
I mean listen to bob wills, he knows what he's talking about...even though I was sad that every place we went had unsweetened ice tea...what is with that?!
Though cafe dumond was hot hot hot, I even got a cool balloon pirate hat there, which popped almost immediatelyand learning how to breathe and eat something completely covered in powdered sugar was AWSOME! I felt like a coke fiend, and that cant ever be a bad thing.
The whole time I was there I was a writing foolbut I think I left my diary at perkins or in someones carso Im not going to be able to write all that I wannaBOO!
So keep a look out for a pink and grey diary with kittens on it!!!
in it you will find my thoughts on hotels with two toilet paper dispensers and drawings I asked vampire hobos to draw and the page that I spilled some delicious bourbon soaked french toast on and the notes I took while getting my fortune told on Jackson square. I sat there for two hours, shivering with the motion of everything and feeling like I was on a ferris wheel and needing to pee. But it was amazing and like a kick in the butt or waltzing and not knowing how.
and how can I forget about the 73 year old man who told me to feel his muscles?
So yeahgood triplong, but nicein two weeks its destination TEXAS!
Right now I'm all sad cause I feel lonely and it's been a week now and no signs of anything cool coming in the mail anytime soon.
I am expecting.
but thank goodness I am not showing.
where are all my ebayin' dino hoes at?! and my c64s?! Well at least I got an early birthday/xmas gift last weekwhich was SUPER FLIPPIN DOLPIHIN CRAZY GREAT!! Jordan surprised me with tickets to see Brian Setzer and people watch and feel special and later we met the bass player at dinner and then I bought tons of old 60s playboys for a dollar a piece and drooled over stereo adds.
The snow is making me feel all Christ-massy and antsy and I didnt do anything I wanted to do today and I have a to do list as big as john wayne's....hate for gay men.
right.
my face hurts. I think I'll go back to sleep, maybe watch a movie with a boy later. it's one of those nights that I wish I had a fire place. it is also one of those nights that I will probably end up staying up until 4 in the morning pretending I am a pirate and that my cats are sharks.
peace. sugar lips.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Read carefully, I've subjected myself to this kind of shit quite a bit in my life and I know a thing or two about it. Even still, I might make an ass out of myself here, but understand I have good intentions.
First of all... Your ex is hurting because he was either in love with you or in love with the time he got to spend with you. It wasn't right for you, for whatever reason, so you made a change. Now he's having a hard time being able to think straight, probably because you're on his mind a lot and he misses you so bad it hurts him in the chest. Perhaps he is crying a lot.
He feels sad and alone and he doesn't want to feel that way. He is not emotionally strong enough to be friends with you. Not when your pressence made him feel the way he did. It's scary for him to not be with you that way - even scarier to be with you, but in a different way, knowing your feelings for him have changed.
But you did the right thing. If he was not the one for you, you cannot flinch in the face of doubt, you did the right thing. He was happy with you because of his attitude when he was around you. Surely, you helped facilitate his joy, but now he's sad because of his attitude as well. Let him go through this pain and let him go.
I know it's hard and I'm not saying you can't miss him and be a little sad that he's so sad right now. On the contrary, it says you have a heart and a general concern for others.
Sometimes you have to choose between hurting someone and really hurting someone. It's a hard lesson of life to learn. Being nice is a luxury and it's relative. Being honest, true and reliable as an honest and straightforward person, that's a philosophy you can stick to for life. It's not always pretty, but you build strength of character that way.
Give him a guiltless goodbye. And try to give him some optimism, too. That way, he'll have a hard time being self-destructive, which is how he's being when he says stuff like that.
Say, "OK, I'll let you go. I never meant to hurt you, ever. I hope you feel better soon. Good luck in life, I know you'll succeed in whatever it is you do. If one day, long from now, you ever want to say hello, find me. I'll be happy to see you again. Take care and be strong. With love, Nebel."
Of course, use your real name. I always wanted my exes to say that to me when they broke my heart. But be warry. He's giving you more of a guilt trip than you deserve, I think.
But it's injustice for you to let yourself hurt over him any more. He should join you in happiness and in moving on. You should not join him in sorrow. But it's part of the process. There's nothing wrong. Especially with you.
OK?