So I'm at my parents now. Took the train! Trains are fun! Trains have bar carts! Wheee! Also, there was this incredibly hot girl sitting kitty corner to me. She was a hecka lot slenderer than I like, for normal, but somehow... so goddamned hot.
When I arrived at the station, my mom and sister were waiting for me.
Very nice to feel so welcomed and loved.
I have this issue, though. I can't seem to let down my guard with them anymore. It's like I'm constantly pretending to be someone else with them, which totally isn't cool, since I don't really do the same thing for ANYONE else. I'm grittily me for everybody in my life, except for my own mom and my own sister and my own dad. What the hell is up with that? And it seems that no matter how much I think about it, and address it, or attempt to fix it... it just won't go away.
I feel like an imposter with my own family.
When I arrived at the station, my mom and sister were waiting for me.
Very nice to feel so welcomed and loved.
I have this issue, though. I can't seem to let down my guard with them anymore. It's like I'm constantly pretending to be someone else with them, which totally isn't cool, since I don't really do the same thing for ANYONE else. I'm grittily me for everybody in my life, except for my own mom and my own sister and my own dad. What the hell is up with that? And it seems that no matter how much I think about it, and address it, or attempt to fix it... it just won't go away.
I feel like an imposter with my own family.
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lucky you!
if you are not yourself with your family.. who are you? are you trying to be someone you think they want you to be? do you harbor resentment towards them? have you been hurt by them? you gotta just let that shit go. crawl up into a ball in your mom's lap. let her pet your head. cry for all the things you never told her. get your sister involved.. confess to them this behaviour and let them overwhelm you with 'we love you for who you are' type stuff.
good luck and happy holidays!!
xo