so tonight my command had our christmas party....YAY!! i told my girlfriend that i would be over there to pick her up at 530pm. her and my sister were doing each others hair and make up and stuff. i show up at 515pm to pick them up...and they're not ready...at all...i go outside smoke and come back in...i already know that this is going to be a long night. i can handle being alittle late..god knows that i'm not always on time but for fucks sake..we didnt get there til 7pm! 
on the way over there none of us talked..they could tell i was angry as hell...when i dont talk, i'm angry...when my girlfriend asked what was wrong i said i was angry that we were gonna be late...then she launches into a tyraid about how it wasnt her fault..that they were really busy...busy doing what? neither of them have fucking jobs, what the fuck makes you soooo goddamn busy? i said none of that and left it alone... i know better than to talk when i get like this. later when i go to hold her hand she pulls it away from me, i ask whats up and she says shes mad at me for being rude...to her...i was rude to her...cuz it was her party that she was late too....cuz it is going to be her boss giving her shit tommorow about being late......cuz it was my goddamn fault that she is so fuvking lazy.... what the fuck? do i need to break up with this woman? i love her, beyond a shadow of a doubt, cuz any other woman would have been asked to find another way home. i just dont think i can take much more of this kind of thing. cuz this isn't the first time this has happened. this is like a constant thing. she talks down to me like i'm an idiot, makes fun of me in front of my friends, and does nothing with her life. yeah we have some fun together, but i dont think this is enough to keep me in this relationship much longer. when i'm with her we talk about this stuff and i generaly walk away feeling a little better about the whole situation...then i get home and think about it and im like
"you selfish bitch" yeah we talked about it but its just a variation of what always happens. i dont want to break up with her, she has very good qualities too...something needs to change though and soon or i'm gonna lose my fucking mind...or my girl...
on the way over there none of us talked..they could tell i was angry as hell...when i dont talk, i'm angry...when my girlfriend asked what was wrong i said i was angry that we were gonna be late...then she launches into a tyraid about how it wasnt her fault..that they were really busy...busy doing what? neither of them have fucking jobs, what the fuck makes you soooo goddamn busy? i said none of that and left it alone... i know better than to talk when i get like this. later when i go to hold her hand she pulls it away from me, i ask whats up and she says shes mad at me for being rude...to her...i was rude to her...cuz it was her party that she was late too....cuz it is going to be her boss giving her shit tommorow about being late......cuz it was my goddamn fault that she is so fuvking lazy.... what the fuck? do i need to break up with this woman? i love her, beyond a shadow of a doubt, cuz any other woman would have been asked to find another way home. i just dont think i can take much more of this kind of thing. cuz this isn't the first time this has happened. this is like a constant thing. she talks down to me like i'm an idiot, makes fun of me in front of my friends, and does nothing with her life. yeah we have some fun together, but i dont think this is enough to keep me in this relationship much longer. when i'm with her we talk about this stuff and i generaly walk away feeling a little better about the whole situation...then i get home and think about it and im like
"you selfish bitch" yeah we talked about it but its just a variation of what always happens. i dont want to break up with her, she has very good qualities too...something needs to change though and soon or i'm gonna lose my fucking mind...or my girl...
Kisses