nautideux

The thing is though, when I finally decided to head home and go inside, as I walked up the driveway, I sensed something was up. Something just was off. All the lights were on in my house and I just knew someone was over. The lights in my house were always off. They honestly were. For some reason, they were always, regardless of whether it was day or night, cloudy or rainy, or even a holiday of some sort, off. You could walk into a room, and with understandably little thought given to it at all, simply flick the lights on and then, before you could sit down to read, or try to eat, or just stare at the wall or anything at all honestly, realize your shoe was untied and bend over to tie it, and when you stood back up, you would realize that someone, in the meantime, during the split second it took you to bend over or under entirely different circumstances, reach or turn around, or practically even blink your fucking eyes, someone had popped in and turned the lights back off. My mother or father were always just popping in and flicking off the lights. My mother more so. Way, way more so. And sometimes I wouldnt even realize it until I was squinting and hunched over and holding my book two or three inches from my fucking face, wondering why I couldnt read something. But I would quickly figure out that someone, again most likely my ever vigilant in this case, mother, had, with total disregard or at least taking the time to even look around and see that I was reading, snuck in and turned off the lights. Again. Trying to read two or three pages out of a book or magazine or something meant I would literally be up six or seven times walking over and turning the fucking lights back on. Occasionally I found myself just standing by the switch, reading right there next to it, to save time. And if the book was particularly light and easily supported with one hand, I would make it seem like I just picked that spot to read and I would lean, with my arm out and my hand against the wall and, most importantly, actually cover the fucking switch. I had to make sure my posture seemed random and casual and outwardly appear just like I simply happened to be standing there, non-confrontationally, and was just reading and leaning on the wall and just completely out of a sort of happenstance, had covered the switch. So again, when lights were on, as they were as I kind of slowly wandered up the driveway, I knew someone was over. They had to be.