nautideux

So they were always right there, in my hair, so to speak. They ate, slept, and did everything right smack dab in the living room. I couldnt enter or leave the house without walking practically right in front of them. But thankfully most of the time they were just so engrossed in the T.V. that ran 24 hours a day, droning on, that they didnt seem to notice one way or another. They didnt acknowledge me coming or going. For the most part. It wasnt that leaving the house or coming home wasnt without hassle and them being constantly in my hair. They were in my hair but occasionally they were just so caught up in watching T.V. that I could just kind of mutter, Bye and they would nod and that would be the end of it. But if they sensed I was trying to just duck out or something, then all of the sudden I became the center of attention. If I was in any way sneaky or sly or anything about leaving the house then they practically shut off the T.V. and made a big deal about what I was doing, where I was going and everything. So I learned to just announce, Bye and parade right by them, all casual and confident and not show any signs of just trying to get the fuck out of there without any interaction at all. Interacting with them, or anyone for that matter, was, at times, for the most part, exhausting, so I had to fight the urge and not try to just slip out the back door. I had to play the game, in other words, and then I was scott free. But man, at times I just didnt feel like it and I wanted to just slip out the door unacknowledged and not say anything at all to them, and not play the game and everything, so it would have been nice if once and awhile they would just leave the fucking house, at least go to church or something, and get the fuck out of my hair. For the most part I just wanted them out of my hair and for them to leave me the fuck alone. Which they ended up doing for the most part, but they had to be manipulated and you had to play the game to get them to do it. Which, as I mentioned, is pretty exhausting sometimes. Just saying, Good morning to my dad sometimes took everything I had. It literally drained me of everything I had and after saying Hi or Morning or even Hows it going? I would feel like I would have to go lie down and recuperate. And my house was so incredibly fucking tiny that it was literally unavoidable. So I spent my entire time in there nodding and acknowledging and avoiding and it was just so exhausting that most of the time I just sat in my room with the door closed. My un-lockable door, I might add. So it wasnt completely relaxing because any minute there was the chance they might poke their head in, which was unlikely, but still very much possible. So even in there I couldnt completely relax.