Oh man, I just had the funniest shit happen to me! I'm still chuckling.....
Okay, I'm a little hesitant to say this, but if I can admit to having a fascination with Laguna Beach, the real OC, I can admit to having a profile on Match.com. The whole thing was ill-fated from the start, I think. In the 5 or so months I've had the profile up, I only paid for 30 days. I had a women seeking women profile and got a shit ton of swingers contacting me, and a few straight guys...even one guy trying to set me up with his girlfriend (without him involved)..that was a little strange.
Okay, the first sign that Match wasn't a good idea is when a chunky, haggard dominatrix lesbo from the site started sending me messages and saying she was gonna visit San Diego soon and wanted to hook up. Delete, delete, delete. No biggie, right? Well, no biggie until Chloe and I met trucksandorweed and Jennee at Flicks the next Wednesday night to hang out with some of our boys. For those of you who do not know, Flick's is a gay bar and the boys love the $1 COCKtails on Wednesday nights. Seriously, we were the only 4 girls in the place....until (dun, dun, dun) scary lesbo dominatrix enters my peripheral vision! Oh shit! What are the fucking chances? Luckily, Chloe and I were involved in a deep one-on-one conversation and she only stopped by to say hi, then left because she thought we were on a date. After that, we went to go find trucksandorweed to tell her the crazy shit but she had already found her and Jennee too (like I said, we were literally the only 4 girls in the crowded bar). So she approached me again and called me out on the match thing and I cannot lie, so I was like, "oh yeah, you look familiar". I crashed at chloe's that night and vowed to delete my profile at that moment, but her internet was down.
So now, 6 weeks later, my profile is still up and I decide to update it and change the wording around because only 2 (ladies) figured out how to email me from my hints in the text. Well, making it too obvious is also making it more obvious for the matchmakers too, so they kept deleting out chunks of my profile making me look like a grammatical idiot. Finally, they sent me a message saying they removed my profile for being inappropriate. I figured they would say something about me not being a paying member, but this is what they wrote me:
Were currently unable to publish your profile because of the following
criteria:
Seeking multiple partners
Seeking discreet heterosexual relationships
Seeking sex only relationships
There is nothing in my profile that eludes to sex at all! That's what SG is for... They even recommended another website that might better suit me!
So, so funny! The only thing I can think of that offended them, ironically, is my last name. It is a Finnish name that people often pronounce like panty because they don't speak Finn. Add my first initial to the end and you have my email, but it also spells panttin...which I guess gives the impression that I am seeking multiple partners and sex only relationships. Another damn thing to blame on my parents! It's bad enough that I constantly get asked if my first name is my real name or my working name.
So, my match.com profile is deleted for good....fuck 'em. I sure am gonna miss the random whorish comments that would get emailed to me, though......so you guys better giddyup and start leaving some here so I still have something to chuckle about!
Okay, I'm a little hesitant to say this, but if I can admit to having a fascination with Laguna Beach, the real OC, I can admit to having a profile on Match.com. The whole thing was ill-fated from the start, I think. In the 5 or so months I've had the profile up, I only paid for 30 days. I had a women seeking women profile and got a shit ton of swingers contacting me, and a few straight guys...even one guy trying to set me up with his girlfriend (without him involved)..that was a little strange.
Okay, the first sign that Match wasn't a good idea is when a chunky, haggard dominatrix lesbo from the site started sending me messages and saying she was gonna visit San Diego soon and wanted to hook up. Delete, delete, delete. No biggie, right? Well, no biggie until Chloe and I met trucksandorweed and Jennee at Flicks the next Wednesday night to hang out with some of our boys. For those of you who do not know, Flick's is a gay bar and the boys love the $1 COCKtails on Wednesday nights. Seriously, we were the only 4 girls in the place....until (dun, dun, dun) scary lesbo dominatrix enters my peripheral vision! Oh shit! What are the fucking chances? Luckily, Chloe and I were involved in a deep one-on-one conversation and she only stopped by to say hi, then left because she thought we were on a date. After that, we went to go find trucksandorweed to tell her the crazy shit but she had already found her and Jennee too (like I said, we were literally the only 4 girls in the crowded bar). So she approached me again and called me out on the match thing and I cannot lie, so I was like, "oh yeah, you look familiar". I crashed at chloe's that night and vowed to delete my profile at that moment, but her internet was down.
So now, 6 weeks later, my profile is still up and I decide to update it and change the wording around because only 2 (ladies) figured out how to email me from my hints in the text. Well, making it too obvious is also making it more obvious for the matchmakers too, so they kept deleting out chunks of my profile making me look like a grammatical idiot. Finally, they sent me a message saying they removed my profile for being inappropriate. I figured they would say something about me not being a paying member, but this is what they wrote me:
Were currently unable to publish your profile because of the following
criteria:
Seeking multiple partners
Seeking discreet heterosexual relationships
Seeking sex only relationships
There is nothing in my profile that eludes to sex at all! That's what SG is for... They even recommended another website that might better suit me!
So, so funny! The only thing I can think of that offended them, ironically, is my last name. It is a Finnish name that people often pronounce like panty because they don't speak Finn. Add my first initial to the end and you have my email, but it also spells panttin...which I guess gives the impression that I am seeking multiple partners and sex only relationships. Another damn thing to blame on my parents! It's bad enough that I constantly get asked if my first name is my real name or my working name.
So, my match.com profile is deleted for good....fuck 'em. I sure am gonna miss the random whorish comments that would get emailed to me, though......so you guys better giddyup and start leaving some here so I still have something to chuckle about!
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Now other times, I walk right in - start a conversation - and spend the next 6 hours talking about the fact that wind doesn't move the trees - but infact, the trees sense a change and move to create the wind.
Did I just go off on a tangent?
talk to me girl.
ok
thanks for hainging out and being such a fucking darling