Got some extremely disturbing news last night....found out that my ex, some of you know him as "the addict", or we'll just say RR...is going to be a father. I cannot express enough in words how this is the last person in the universe who should be allowed to be a parent....I am so frightened for that child I cannot shake it. I mean we are talking about a person who left out drugs in my apartment on more than one occasion and my dog got into them and overdosed....she didn't die thank god....but if this is how he is...what happens when he hides his stash and a toddler gets into it? God help his girlfriend and God help his child.
It's kind of funny how when you know a person who is diagnosed with some kind of emotional problem and is seeking or has sought treatment for that problem....then that person usually gets labeled by the people around them as crazy...yet, when there are so many people I know walking around who clearly have major, major issues....be it emotionally or with relationships or with drugs...who are in such deep denial...they actually not only are unaware of their issues but actually believe that they "have their shit together" and blame everyone but themselves for their problems...and these are the truely crazy people...the truely fucked up people...the ones who think they aren't fucked up and that they are better than everyone else. They just keep walking around making the same mistakes over and over again and each time they blame someone or something else for their fuck-ups and until they actually have the courage that it takes to say "hey, I have issues, maybe I should deal with them", instead of wasting all of their mental energy on convincing themselves that they are fine the way they are....well, then sadly, they will continue to fuck-up. I have far more respect for a person who has a problem and admits it and does something about it, or at least, for god's sake, tries...then I do for those living in denial. Denial is pathetic and weak.
I spent three hours working on Chemistry with my friend/tutor last night. Then I actually came home at like 1 in the morning and worked on it some more alone....I'm a workaholic when it comes to school...wish I could have that same drive and discipline when it came to actual work. Actually, I wish I could get paid for being a student....I mean it is, in fact, work, is it not? I mean, I wonder how many people work as hard in three hours time at their jobs as I did working on that Chemistry last night....no offense intended to hard-working people..just making a point....that even in some of the toughest jobs I've had, I never had to do as much work as I did last night. Okay, now I'm rambling because I'm tired...and I have class again tonight, so I better go get some sleep. I wonder if anyone actually reads this.
It's kind of funny how when you know a person who is diagnosed with some kind of emotional problem and is seeking or has sought treatment for that problem....then that person usually gets labeled by the people around them as crazy...yet, when there are so many people I know walking around who clearly have major, major issues....be it emotionally or with relationships or with drugs...who are in such deep denial...they actually not only are unaware of their issues but actually believe that they "have their shit together" and blame everyone but themselves for their problems...and these are the truely crazy people...the truely fucked up people...the ones who think they aren't fucked up and that they are better than everyone else. They just keep walking around making the same mistakes over and over again and each time they blame someone or something else for their fuck-ups and until they actually have the courage that it takes to say "hey, I have issues, maybe I should deal with them", instead of wasting all of their mental energy on convincing themselves that they are fine the way they are....well, then sadly, they will continue to fuck-up. I have far more respect for a person who has a problem and admits it and does something about it, or at least, for god's sake, tries...then I do for those living in denial. Denial is pathetic and weak.
I spent three hours working on Chemistry with my friend/tutor last night. Then I actually came home at like 1 in the morning and worked on it some more alone....I'm a workaholic when it comes to school...wish I could have that same drive and discipline when it came to actual work. Actually, I wish I could get paid for being a student....I mean it is, in fact, work, is it not? I mean, I wonder how many people work as hard in three hours time at their jobs as I did working on that Chemistry last night....no offense intended to hard-working people..just making a point....that even in some of the toughest jobs I've had, I never had to do as much work as I did last night. Okay, now I'm rambling because I'm tired...and I have class again tonight, so I better go get some sleep. I wonder if anyone actually reads this.
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btw, thanks for the response to my own initial post, we should go sit out front of the Newark Diner one of these days and have coffee, smoke, and see what kind of random topics we can talk about.
Thanks for the comments concerning my "all chemistry and no play makes Natasha a dull nasty girl"....and it's great to know that you guys are reading my posts and that I am not simply talking to my self here....If you want to hear a little bit more about a day in the psychodrama-because-I-live-in-Newark that is my life....check out my new post....and Spooky....I would love to hang out sometime.