When I'm not sitting alone in my dark room contemplating my failed relationship, I'm hitting the town to make new relationships or tending to the current ones. The thing is I'm great at making new relationships, the problem is tending to them takes a lot of work and effort. When I meet someone new I can be witty, funny, exciting and sometimes, if I've been hitting the liquor (which is often), quite blunt. But for the most part I'm nice and caring.
For current relationships, I feel like I'm annoying and repetitive. I know most people get a bit like this after awhile. So when I feel like my friends have had too much of me, I head to town to meet new ones. After all, strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.
The place is a random pub, highly recommended for it's drink specials, dancing without a man holding on to me to make sure everybody knew I was his, enjoying my freedom of space and pulling moves out of the music. The time is "after a few too many drinks", I'm up against someone's chest, and he smells divine. He has communicated with me the whole night, bought me a drink, protected me from the angry men baring their teeth as they try to get a grab of my ass, so I'm more than happy to go home with him.
Sex is amazing and I struggle to not make noise so as to not disturb the people in the next room but I can't help it, by the end I'm exhausted and fall straight to sleep in his arms. I stay in bed for as long as I can to enjoy his cuddles before I have to jump up to go to the loo. Then it's to casual conversation over coffee and smokes and it takes me nearly half the drive home to push through my fear and natural shyness to reach over and hold his hand. A smile is plastered on my face and I feel genuinely at peace with the world, like we're the only two people on this road. But it's nothing close to love, just somewhat of a ghost image of what I used to have. I hug him goodbye (never a kiss because morning breath is gross) and promise that we will meet again.
I trot upstairs to my apartment pleased that a new relationship has been made, and later on I make sure to text him, as well as the current relationships too; because I do try my hardest, no matter how tedious it is, to keep them going for as long as necessary.
The guy is every guy I've slept with, I've become the perfect girlfriend experience until the moment we say goodbye.
For more check out my actual blog/journal http://scarlet-youth.livejournal.com/
For current relationships, I feel like I'm annoying and repetitive. I know most people get a bit like this after awhile. So when I feel like my friends have had too much of me, I head to town to meet new ones. After all, strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.
The place is a random pub, highly recommended for it's drink specials, dancing without a man holding on to me to make sure everybody knew I was his, enjoying my freedom of space and pulling moves out of the music. The time is "after a few too many drinks", I'm up against someone's chest, and he smells divine. He has communicated with me the whole night, bought me a drink, protected me from the angry men baring their teeth as they try to get a grab of my ass, so I'm more than happy to go home with him.
Sex is amazing and I struggle to not make noise so as to not disturb the people in the next room but I can't help it, by the end I'm exhausted and fall straight to sleep in his arms. I stay in bed for as long as I can to enjoy his cuddles before I have to jump up to go to the loo. Then it's to casual conversation over coffee and smokes and it takes me nearly half the drive home to push through my fear and natural shyness to reach over and hold his hand. A smile is plastered on my face and I feel genuinely at peace with the world, like we're the only two people on this road. But it's nothing close to love, just somewhat of a ghost image of what I used to have. I hug him goodbye (never a kiss because morning breath is gross) and promise that we will meet again.
I trot upstairs to my apartment pleased that a new relationship has been made, and later on I make sure to text him, as well as the current relationships too; because I do try my hardest, no matter how tedious it is, to keep them going for as long as necessary.
The guy is every guy I've slept with, I've become the perfect girlfriend experience until the moment we say goodbye.
For more check out my actual blog/journal http://scarlet-youth.livejournal.com/
diazepine:
ahaha oh man, you gave me a real lady boner here at work. good stuff! 