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"Tongue and Cheek 4"

What I do on weekends:

I like to give exercise tutorials to the morbidly obese at the gym.

I set up my room with all of the amenities: Exercise balls, free weights, benches, treadmills, etc.

Once I see all of their faces settled in, I announce to the room:

"Hello all you morbidly obese fat suns-a-bitches."

They turn their heads. Slowly...
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kattyfox:
thanks for your coment sexy love
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"Tongue and Cheek Three"

What I do for fun:

Just for kicks-- I'll see handicapped people pass me by on campus.

I ask them, "What's that like, not having legs?"

They give me a dirty look.

I tell them, "Well, it isn't that often that I get to talk to someone like you- one who doesn't have legs."

They tell me...
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"Tongue'N'Cheek 2"

I'd like to hang out with Larry, The Cable Guy.

We'd smoke pot all day and work on getting my friends free AT&T U-Verse.

He and I would watch Shaun of the Dead and discuss zombie killing strategies.

Larry would tell me, "Well, shiiit, Mike, I recon that we ought-ta get goin' to te dinner!"

After to going...
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"Tongue and Cheek"

Who I Would Hang Out With All the Time if I had the Chance:

Hitler.

Me and Hitler would go around all day, knocking over mail boxes, eating ice cream, and laughing at Judd Apatow films.

I would sit Hitler down, and force him to watch every single episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld.


If Larry David had been born way...
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